The things we can't control

Chapter fourteen

"What's up with you, cranky pants?" Lilly asks me when I repeatedly hit my calculator. "I can't get this stupid equation to make sense." I groan, staring down at the paper that was full of messily written numbers. "I'm not just talking about your mood today. Your in a shitty mood since last week and I'm not about to ignore it any longer. So tell me, whats going on?"

"Nothing." I groan. Lilly shook her head. "It's not nothing. I can try to guess but that could take days, so just tell me and we can use the time to actually talk about it and find a solution." She's right. I have to talk about this stupid kiss with someone.

"Come one, or I'll get Evie and she will get it out of you." Lilly jokes, not knowing that Evelyn is a difficult topic right now. "She is actually the problem right now." I confess, still staring at the sheet of paper in front of me. "What do you mean? You have to get into more detail here."

"Evelyn and the stupid kiss is my problem here." I finally said, turning around and sending Lilly an annoyed glare. Lilly on the other hand sends me a confused look back. "Wait, come again. You kissed?!" I hid my head in my hands and nodded. "Isn't that something we should be happy about? I thought she was straight." She asked and I shook my head. "The problem is, that she also still thinks she is straight." I explained.

"Then how did it even come to a kiss? Don't tell me you kissed her against her will." Lilly asked shocked and I'm starting to get angry here. "No! I did not kiss her against her will. I did in fact kiss her but just because she send me very clear signals. I wouldn't just kiss her because I wanted to. She made it seem like she wanted it to. I even gave her time to pull away before I kissed her, but she didn't and then she kissed me back. I couldn't believe it and I was right to, because the next thing I know is that she screams at me, like I did kiss her without her permission." I spat out, still incredibly confused and hurt by the whole situation. No matter how often I replayed the situation in my head, it doesn't make sense.

"Okay, that does actually not sound like an ideal first kiss with the love of your life." Lilly said and I threw a pillow at her head. "Come on Lilly, stop the teasing now. This isn't funny and it actually hurt like hell." Lilly walked over to my desk and pulled me into her arms. "I'm sorry. I understand how shitty this must be. I'll stop with the teasing, promise." I thanked her and just enjoyed one of the rare hugs we shared.

"I think Evelyn is just confused and scared by her own feelings and you just happened to stand in the crossfire of her actions. I don't want to find excuses for her but you obviously still care about her, so maybe just give her some time and she will come to her senses and apologise to you." I hoped she was right, but there still was a tiny problem. "I told her that she shouldn't bother coming back to me, once she figured herself out." I croaked out, nearly in tears at this point.

"You said that in the heat of the moment and Evelyn is not stupid, she will at least come and apologise to you, once she's ready and then you can talk about everything and explain that you also didn't mean everything as harsh as it sounded in that moment." I nodded and knew that I had to trust Lilly's judgment.

Suddenly my phone started ringing and I reluctantly left Lilly's arms to answer it. Once I found my phone I saw that it was a number I didn't know calling me. "Hello, this is Grace Preath."

"Hello miss Preath, we're calling on the behalf of the US Women's National Team head coach and would like to invite you to our February-camp. If you could give us your E-Mail, we will send you all necessary informations shortly and you can send us your preferred flight that we will then book for you." The woman on the line said to me and I was stunned into silence.

What the hell, this call came out of nowhere. I started at Lilly who gave me a confused look. "Miss Preath, are you still there?" The woman asked and I realised that I haven't said anything for quit some time. "Yes, sorry. I'd love to come, thank you." I continued giving her my E-Mail and then bin my goodbyes, thanking her agin.

"What the hell." I said staring at my phone. "What happened? Who was that?" Lilly asked me and I started grinning. "I got invited to camp." I still couldn't believe it even when I said it out loud. Lilly stared at me. "Wait, just to be sure, we're talking about the national team camp, right?" I nodded and she squealled. "Oh my god, Gracie. That's amazing." I nodded, still staring into nothingness, completely shocked. "At first I thought someone died, but this is way better news." I laughed and finally started to realise, that this is real. I just got my first of hopefully many call ups.

Our celebration was interrupted by Lilly's phone ringing and we both started at each other in disbelieve. "Okay, chill." Lilly said. " Maybe it's just my dad, who wants to know if I can stalk my brothers Instagram and tell him what he's up to now." I laughed, knowing that it's a real possibility considering that it already happened more than once. I still hoped that my first camp would also be the first camp for my best friend.

"Lilly Pierce." She answered and I already knew that it wasn't her dad. I stared at her face trying to identify her feelings. A huge grin spread onto her face and she nodded enthusiastically and thats when I knew that she got invitated too.

She gave them her information and also thanked them before ending the call. Then we both jumped up and screamed, laughed and maybe cried a little until we fell to the floor in a tight embrace. "I have to call my moms. We could fly from San Diego together and visit them afterwards. " Lilly nodded and I started looking for my phone with a huge grin on my face. The bad mood I had the whole week was temporarily forgotten.