In Another Life || Levi x Reader/OC

Decisions

At precisely half past nine in the morning, you started to gather all of your belongings. According to the captain, the plan was to leave the fortress discreetly by mid-afternoon so that neither the Garrison Regiment nor the MPs would come to suspect where Eren and Christa - who you later learned to actually be named Historia - currently resided.

Ever since Historia's importance was revealed by Minister Nick, it seemed that the Survey Corps had an even greater duty to protect not only Eren, but her as well. You were unsure of how the squads were going to be restructured, considering a large amount of the Scout Regiment had been killed, but one thing you knew for sure was that the Survey Corps did not look good in the public eye. The failed outcome of the most recent mission had only further damaged their reputation, and the commander's critical condition as a result of the aftermath did not help with it either.

You set your packed belongings to the side and sighed while sinking onto the edge of your bed, your gaze lingering on Petra's untouched belongings. You left the task of gathering her items until the very end, unwilling to immerse yourself in the grief of her loss just yet. You shut your eyes and took a deep breath in, collecting your thoughts before giving in to your overwhelming feelings of dread. You stood up a few moments later, grabbing her bag from the corner of her room and unclasping it. It felt uneasy invading her privacy like this; then again, you knew she wouldn't have minded. She never once denied sharing an item with you.

"Consider anything mine, yours," you recalled her saying. "I've got nothing to hide." Her genuine, glowing smile emerged in your mind at the memory.

The first thing you saw peeping out of the bag was some makeup, hair ties, and an unfinished bag of chips – such simple, mundane, everyday items, and yet, they still filled you with nothing but anguish. You grabbed the bag of chips, dropping it into the trash bin without a second glance. The rest of her items were emptied onto her bed. Steadying your breath, you began to rummage through the remaining items.

It didn't feel right to touch her belongings without permission, especially when you certainly had no right to. Pulling out all of her clothes, accessories, and books just made you feel queasy. Each item represented an intimate piece of Petra's life, and you hated the fact you had to disturb it. Tension rose on your shoulders while you continued.

Petra would not have cared to have you linger over her belongings - that was how much she trusted you, and that was exactly the most devastating part of her death. She trusted you blindly without knowing who you really were at all.

Packing her clothes was the worst part. These were items once adorned on her every day you were with her. Her cotton night clothes, her ruffed-up training clothes, her mildly fancy casual clothes... you felt an ache in your heart while caressing the fabric.

As you reached for her golden necklace next, you felt the pang in your heart deepen. You held it up close to your face, immersing yourself in the memory of that night. It was the one and only time you had pissed her off, and it was all due to your carelessness. She was so forgiving, too - even blaming herself for thinking she overreacted.

Oh, Petra. You were too sweet for this world.

I should have been the one to die in your place.

Your eyes widened at the brief dark thought, never once having considered your death to be an option for what you were going through.

No, you couldn't let yourself die. As guilty as you may have felt about what happened, you had to remind yourself that you were here for your sister. She deserved a better life, and you needed to make sure she got that before your life came to an end. Death was not currently an option; you had to push through.