In Another Life | Levi x Reader/OC

Decisions

At precisely half past nine in the morning, you started to gather all of your belongings. According to the captain, the plan was to leave the fortress discreetly by mid-afternoon so neither the Garrison Regiment nor the MPs would come to suspect where Eren and Christa, who you later learned to actually be named Historia, currently reside.

Ever since Historia's importance was unveiled by Minister Nick, it seemed that the Survey Corps had an even greater duty to protect not only Eren, but her as well. You were unsure of how the squads were going to be restructured considering a large amount of the Scout Regiment had been killed, but one thing you knew for sure was that the Survey Corps did not look good to the public eye. The successive failures after each mission further damaged their reputation. The commander's critical condition as a result of the aftermath did not help with this current notoriety either.

You set your packed belongings to the side and sighed while sinking onto the edge of your bed, your gaze lingering on Petra's untouched belongings. You left the task of gathering her items until the very end, unwilling to relive the weight of the memories bound to such simple items. You shut your eyes and took a deep breath, collecting your thoughts before immersing yourself in waves of dread. You stood up a few moments later, grabbing her bag from the corner of her room and unclasping it. You felt uneasy invading her privacy like this, then again, you knew she would not have minded. She never once denied sharing an item or hid anything from you.

"Consider anything mine, yours," you recalled her saying. "I've got nothing to hide." Her genuine, infectious smile plagued your mind at the memory.

The first thing you saw peeping out of the bag was some makeup, hair ties, and an unfinished bag of chips – such simple, mundane, everyday objects, and yet, they filled you with nothing but anguish. You grabbed the bag of chips, dropping it into the trash bin without a second glance. The remaining items were emptied onto her bed. With a steadying breath, you began to rummage through her items.

It didn't feel right to touch her belongings without permission, especially when you certainly had no right to. Stumbling upon all her clothes, accessories, and books – it made you queasy. Each item represented an intimate piece of Petra's life, some that you were present for, but you detested the fact you had to disturb it. You felt the discomfort settle on your shoulders.

Petra's kindness and generosity would not have cared to have you linger over her belongings, but that was because she didn't really know who you were, and that was the worst part of it all.

Packing her clothes was the worst part. These were items once adorned on her every day you were with her. Her cotton night clothes, her ruffed-up training clothes, her mildly fancy casual clothes. You felt an ache in your heart.

As you reached for her golden necklace next, you felt the ache in your heart deepen. You held it up close to your face, immersing yourself in the memory of that night. It was the one and only time you had pissed her off, and it was all due to your carelessness. She was so forgiving too, even blaming herself for thinking she overreacted.

Oh Petra. You were too sweet for this world.

I deserved to have died in your place.

The brief dark thought haunted your mind, never once considering your death to be an option for what you were going through.

No, you couldn't die. Not yet. As guilty as you may have felt about what had happened, this was all for your sister. She deserved a better life, and you needed to make sure she got that before your life came to an end. Death was not currently an option.

You gathered the rest of her things into her bag swiftly, attempting to ignore the somber thoughts engulfing your mind. You clasped her bag and threw it over your shoulder before placing your hand on the doorknob to leave.