In Another Life || Levi x Reader/OC

Trust

There wasn't a single day since arriving in Shiganshina that you didn't cry yourself to sleep.

Everything around the vicinity was abandoned and nearly destroyed, shards of glass and pieces of bricks littered across the ground. It amazed you to find a few houses that hadn't fully crumbled yet, but just even glancing at the houses felt unsettling to you. People used to live in there - they had a family, friends, hobbies, aspirations... all of them had a normal life before you all came in and sabotaged it. You had no right to waltz into their home unwelcomed to claim it as your own, yet here all of you were, intruding their town by setting up tents atop the wall to rest in.

Zeke only brought along two tents - Bertholdt and Reiner shared one, and Zeke offered to share the other with you since Pieck remained in her titan form; however, you knew he asked that question as a joke, because you'd much rather pitch yourself off the wall than sleep in the same tent as him. Considering the fact that Zeke had never once been a gentleman his entire life, you weren't surprised to see the way it never bothered him to know you made a makeshift bed and slept outside. Reiner and Bertholdt at least had the decency to ask if you wanted to rotate sleeping in their tent, but you were too stubborn to agree to that.

Sleeping outside was rather uncomfortable and chilly, but it felt safer than sleeping with that blonde-headed idiot. There was also the option to rest in one of those houses below, but the guilt of sleeping inside of one of them would have never permitted you to sleep. Not only that, but you'd still encounter some titans every now and then. You didn't have anything to protect yourself with and could only depend on the others to defend you.

Besides, you'd rather not have the others hear your constant weeping and sniffling inside the tent. Even though you were all settled on top of the same wall, you set yourself several feet away from them to make sure you hardly encountered them. Showing your vulnerability was the last thing you wanted them to see.

To put it bluntly, you were a fucking mess. You hardly ate, hardly drank water, and hardly slept. You may as well be fucking dead already.

A part of you wished you were.

No. We have to go back to Paulina, remember? You can't give up.

Paulina was the only reason you were hanging onto the last bit of strength you had left. If she at least got to live a better life, then the pain you were enduring would be worth it.

Given that you made it abundantly clear to Zeke that you wanted no part in capturing Eren, you avoided the others for most of the day. In truth, it surprised you that he hadn't kicked you out already. You were absolutely useless to them - you had no titan power, you didn't offer them any help with the mission anymore, and you actively countered every little detail of their plans. There was no point in keeping you, yet for some reason, Zeke never once brought up the idea of letting you go.

Unless he's arranging something behind my back...

You shuddered at the thought. Well, there wasn't anything else you could do about it. You were stuck in this situation because there were no better options. All you could do was hope that nothing went wrong.

The sun was shining high above when you fluttered your eyes open today; it must have been noon already. You'd been oversleeping far too much since arriving here, but for whatever reason, you still felt drowsy. Sitting up from the sleeping bag, you placed a hand on your back to ease your back pain. Your entire back was killing you, and sitting on the solid concrete for the past few weeks really made your ass hurt. You swallowed some saliva as you straightened your back a bit more, and that familiar scratchy feeling in your throat made your body tense up.

You had a sore throat. Fantastic.

Obviously. That's what happens when I sleep outside and don't take care of myself - I get sick.