Anntonia came barging in like a bull in a china shop. "Wanna get fake married?"
"Well good morning to you, too, Ann," Michelle looked up at her roommate. It was nine in the morning on a Saturday. Anntonia never got out of bed before eleven on a weekend. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Look here," Anntonia threw her phone at Michelle, the other girl barely catching it before it hit her in the face. Anntonia has pulled up a Tumblr post.
What if you send letters to billionaires inviting them to weddings do you think they would have their assistants send you money for not showing up i mean they have the cash to spare
"That would be a scam, Anntonia," Michelle said, pushing up her glasses. "And it's illegal. I work at a law firm, I should know this,"
"Oh come on, Michelle! They have billions! And I have so much increasing debt from med school and I'll make next to nothing at my residency when it starts so I'll have debt until I'm like, fifty. Surely it won't be the worst thing in the world for them to donate a few grand to the Anntonia Porsild Does Not Want To Suffer Forever Charity?"
"Are you even listening to me?"
"And it's not like they need all that money. What are they going to do? Be buried with it?"
"I could literally say anything and you wouldn't even hear,"
"Of course I would give you a part of it, too, but like, not a ton, you get that right? Like, your parents covered your law school, which is great! But my parents aren't giving me anything, so I need to find a way to make money and this idea just seems so perfect-"
"I had sex with Tim last night,"
"So I looked up local billionaires so it doesn't seem so far fetched if they lived in like, Alaska or something-"
"Kate and I are adopting an elk family and moving to Kalamazoo,"
"And I found one! George Mathews! He's the head of some huge oil company and is worth like, thirty billion. I Googled it,"
"Anntonia,"
"It would bring me out of my debt! Even if he gave me like, a few thousand dollars it would help,"
"Anntonia!"
"And we wouldn't even have it be a real wedding! We can just tell him we're getting married and he'll probably send something! He doesn't have the time to actually come down and see two random girls get married!"
"Anntonia!"
"What?"
"If I agree would you please shut up?"
Anntonia smiled widely and dropped to her knees next to Michelle's bed. "Michelle Dee, my best friend, will you do me the honor of fake marrying me so I can get enough money from this billionaire to carry me out of my debt?"
"Do we have to plan a legit wedding?"
"No, your name will just be on the card."
"Then yes, I will fake marry you for a money scheme,"
"Oh hell yes!" Anntonia cheered, throwing her arms around Michelle. "Thank you!"
~~
"This is illegal,"
"Exactly what I said,"
