"Unlovable is quite the strong word for a fragile soul like you my darling."
•••
-IN WHICH , an schizophrenic && ptsd wielding ex-soldier going through grief is pushed on a mission by chris redfield, and along the way is taken by one group of vampir...
Love. It's quite the most meaningful word in my life... it's what I found, what I liked the feeling of.. truly, it was just an out-of-body, amazing experience. But it's lost now. It's been lost.. since well the baker experience. It scared me. Chris told me to get back up on my feet. I find that impossible. I lost the love of my life. My wife.. she was sweet.. so sweet. God I truly do miss her.. oh so much, it pains me. Every day.
Somedays I wonder why they took her.
I played with the golden ring that sat on my ring finger. I twisted the ring. Feeling the cool 24-carats on my fingertips, it's been on my mind the past few weeks... I have Fucking schizophrenia... And I can't do anything about it...
I walked out of my room finally, after playing with my ring for twenty minutes I finally stepped foot out of my bed. It felt cold.. unearthly cold
My eyes alternated between Jack & Margaret, jack had the sharp blade to her neck
"Step fucking back... get away from her," I yelled. I could feel Chris's hands on my shoulders. It felt unreal. It was just me and Jack Baker. My eyes looked at him. He chuckled
Then he cut her. Leaking blood from her neck, he let her fall to the floor.
"You son of a bitch.!" That was when I saw Ethan push me back
"No." He mumbled. Tears ran down my face. I couldn't see anything. It was a blur, a dream. I would wake up and hear her sweet voice. Feel her warmth. See her ginger hair.
It wasn't a dream...
I blinked harshly. My mouth had a salty taste
"No.!" I said walking downstairs. Going to my cabinet. Grasping at the medication with shaky fingers. I smacked my lips. Looking for a way of getting saliva in my mouth, I shook the bottle. Desperately for my pills, two came out and I pushed them in my mouth. Taking my water and drinking it down.
It was happening too often. Way too often, that's when I heard the phone ring. It's probably Chris. He's been checking up on me for the past few weeks. After my diagnosis, he has been sort of like a brother.
"Yeah," I said. I leaned against the counter. My hand in my [H/c] hair
"Look... I know you said a break but-"
"No.. instant no," I mumbled. I'm not coming back. I was thinking about leaving BSAA and the Wolf Hound squad. It's been 3 years since my last and final mission.
"Y/n it's simple, no killing, no zombies. Just some searching around the plot for some mold." He said. His voice lacked its normal cold tone
