Sweet Cupcakes (and other "stories")

Aggression

Me: Fuck, everyone and everything is just so bent on pissing me off in every way possible...

I am ANGRY, I want to show AGGRESSION, let's fucking fight it to the DEATH! ✊

Luiz: Calm down, man. I'm not fighting you to the death. That's not what MMA is about. It's about discipline and respect.

Me: Let's fight, come on sir. 🤪

Luiz: Nope. Not happening. I'm a professional, not a street fighter.

One hour later...

Me: Don't worry, I beat a bunch of street guys up and now I feel way better 👍.

Luiz: (😱 Who the hell is this girl??) Ahem, uh, that's not cool. Violence isn't the answer, it never is. You need to learn to control your emotions and channel them into something positive. That's what MMA teaches you.

Me: But I defeated them with the power of love, come on. I complimented magenta-hair so much that she let her guard down and I could snap her neck.

Luiz: Nope. Not buying it. Love doesn't win street fights, bruh. Discipline and technique do.

Me: Bruh, I'm serious! Kept her chin down, sweet kick I made to keep it up. Love yourself, right? Then this guy had nothing to love, had to chop off his dick for that one. And the double roundhouse kick special, I need to upgrade that FOR SURE. Like, skill issue? Not with us. Ain't talk cheap? Knocked the fucker's teeth out, pretty sure he can't talk anymore, yeah that guy talked way too much. Man was that fight exciting, especially punching the girls, damn. 🤤😤😏

Luiz: That's not cool. You can't just go around beating people up, especially women ✋. That's not what MMA is about. It's about discipline and respect. You need to chill out and learn some control.

Me: Hey, they came at me first!

Luiz: Doesn't matter. You can't use violence to solve problems. That's not the MMA way. We resolve conflicts peacefully and with respect. Remember, discipline and control are key. 🧘🏿‍♂️

Me: Then what? You wanted 'em to kill me? Some guy ran over me with his motorcycle, and I have a cut on my arm because someone threw a knife at me! But you're not worried for my health, only theirs?? Oh, I see how it is. 🥲

Luiz: Bruh, I'm worried for everyone's health! Violence is never the answer. You need to find a way to resolve conflicts peacefully and with respect. That's what MMA teaches us.

Me: Oh come on, how else can I channel my anger other than street fights and "dungeon quests", get the robbery lingo bro, and I get so much gold from stealing 👌.

Luiz: Train. Hit the gym. Learn some moves. Control your anger through discipline. Don't steal, that's not cool. Be better.

Me: Train? Yeah, I haven't gone to the training dojo in a long time 🤔.

Luiz: Then get back to it! Training is key. Learn new moves, improve your technique. Use your anger to fuel your training, not street fights. Be disciplined, bruh.

Me: Yes, but the training dojo will help me with my street fighting skills! 😄 Maybe I'll be able to come up with a new special move, too! No better time than today. Literally, I assassinated the drug dealer a day ago and now I'm about to be queen of the sniffy dust baby 😎.

Luiz: Nope. Wrong attitude. Training is for self-improvement, not street fighting or violence. Focus on discipline and respect, not crime.

Me: It's not crime if you don't get caught for it 🙄😉.

Luiz: Crime is crime, bruh. Morals matter. MMA teaches us discipline and respect, not vigilantism or illegal activities. Stay on the right path.

Me: Was always more of a leftie handling the weapons, ya know.

Okay, I've had enough. What the hell is a vigilante?

Luiz: Someone who takes the law into their own hands. Stupid, you didn't know? Not cool, bruh. Respect authority and the legal system. Violence and vigilantism have no place in MMA or society.

Remember bruh, MMA. Mixed Martial Arts. Discipline and respect.

Me: Oh, that's what it stands for. Well yeah, our moves were pretty mixed out there. I know old Stevey out there wears a metal binder, but I shot a hole right through with my XL uzi sniper 👉.

Luiz: Stop. No guns, no violence. MMA is about discipline and respect, not shooting people. That's not cool, bruh.

Me: Who said it was MMA rules? This is freestyle street fighting, baby.

Now you've inspired me to train and fight better! 😁

Luiz: Nope. Not about street fighting or violence. MMA is a sport, not a tool for vigilantism or aggression. Train for discipline and self-improvement, not to hurt others.

Me: Why, when they want to hurt me? 🤨

Luiz: Doesn't matter. MMA teaches us to resolve conflicts peacefully and with respect. Violence only leads to more violence. Break the cycle, bruh.

Me: Oh yeah? You know, once I had a cold and a headache 🤒, so I called off the fight, and you know what happened?

Luiz: I don't wanna know. Tell me you didn't do something stupid like start a fight anyway. That's not what MMA is about.

Me: No! I just told you, I called it off so I could go home. Learn to listen. 😤

Luiz: Good. Respect for your opponent and yourself. MMA is about discipline, not reckless behavior. Remember that. 💪

Me: And then guess what happened? 😠

Luiz: Nothing good, I'm sure. Don't continue that story, bruh.

Me: That fucking goth asian bitch got me in a chokehold, and I swear, it was already hard for me to breath with the cold, now this? But I stuck my toes in her rectum, and man, that kinky motherfucker fell for it and I could escape. ✌️

See, I tried to choose peace and I almost died! I have to fight to survive! 😡

Luiz: Nope. Not about sexually assaulting your opponent. That's wrong and illegal. MMA is about respect and discipline, not violence or assault.

Me: Illegal? You think our biggest worry is running from the cops after our asses?

And what the hell, just who's side are you on? That woman tried to fucking kill me again!

Luiz: Stop. No more. Do not continue this story. MMA is not about violence or assault. Respect and discipline, remember?

Me: Actually, she tried to drug me! I swear! 💢

Luiz: Stop. No more. Do not continue this story. MMA is not about violence or assault. Respect and discipline, remember? ☝️

Me: Sir, what do you want me to do? 😡 People are trying to kill me and you're telling me to go die. What do you want? 💢

Luiz: No one wants you to die! Stop resorting to violence. Walk away. Find peaceful solutions. That's what MMA teaches us. 💪

Me: Yes! Remember, I tried! But then I get jumped and with my guard down I can't fight back 😤🤨.

Luiz: Learn de-escalation techniques. MMA is about discipline, not fighting. Use your words, not your fists.

Me: You don't understand, sir.

Maybe if I give you an example, you'll understand 👉.