Sweet Cupcakes (and other "stories")

Incorrect Quotes (neo)

Neitho: God has let me live another day, and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

Kira, looking at her watch: It has been 2 hours and sixteen minutes since I've been insulted.
Kira: It's been about 5 seconds since I've been assaulted, but let's not talk about that.

Pomp: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon.
Neco: Cool.
Pomp: Do you know who Joe is?
Neco: JOE MAMA!
Kira, not even looking up from her phone: Damn, that backfired.

Sked: Neitho, I want a bedtime story!
Neitho: I'm busy, Sked. I'll tell you one tomorrow.
Sked: If you don't tell me a story, I won't go to bed!
Neitho: Once upon a time, there was a person named Sked, who always wanted things his way. One day, his friends got sick of it and locked him in the basement for the rest of his life. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The end.
Sked: I don't like these stories with morals.

Cop: Can you describe the person who stabbed you?
Deo: Lithe, spirited, outgoing, and not afraid to speak their mind. They were a raw, sexual force, and they knew it. They were a dandelion fluff on a summer day, gone in an instant, leaving you with nothing but a memory of their touch and the faint taste of strawberries on your lips.
Cop: ...Great, we have a motive, but we still need a description.

Illusion, running: Slow down, Pomp, I can't ketchup!
Pomp, not slowing down: You'll just have to use all the strength you can mustard.

Pomp: Kira, can I ask you a question?
Kira: Sure, anything.
Pomp: Why don't you go back to your own house leave us alone?
Kira: I want to protect you from my dad.
Pomp: ?
Kira: Ruby warned me.

Pomp: Hey guys! I drew everyone's soul!
Neitho: Why is Mia's a monster?
Mia: Pomp, you forgot Neitho's! It's inly an empty space!
Pomp, proudly: Exactly.

Pomp: What happened to Sked?
Neco: They died.
Pomp: They what?
Neco: They died, but they're okay.
Pomp: ...Can you please clarify?
Sked: Clarification is for the weak.

Deo: I'm so jetlagged I can't even regrender my charf.
*Everyone stares at Deo*
Deo: I don't even know what I was trying to say.

Neco: Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul.
Sked: What? "To my knowledge"? Do a lot of people not know if they're robots?
Neco: Thank you for your confirmation.

Sked: This is getting embarassing.
Pomp: Getting? We're already there!

Illusion: You played me!
Neco: Like the cheap kazoo you are!

Deo: Pomp isn't talking to me.
Kira: That's for the better.
Illusion: Enjoy it while it lasts.