Adonis

Chapter 4 - Memories

I ran to my room, quickly locking the door. I sat on my bed, staring at the floor, immersed in thought. What just happened? I need to organize my thoughts. I open my notebook, sit down at my desk and start to draw and write down the things I remember. Scribbling and jotting down a few things helps me make something of these confused and blurred memories:

"Okay" - I take a deep breath, looking at my completely scribbled pages

The vast majority of the memories were very similar, in almost identical situations. First of all, they all had something in common: Thanatos said "Every time you die, you get stronger". And, almost immediately, I killed myself, without a second thought. In general, all these previous lives seemed quite ordinary, very similar to each other and without many discrepancies, except that I was weaker. So what Thanatos said is true: every time I die, I get stronger. However, these weren't all of my memories, nor were they complete, a large part was missing. Apart from the similarities, there were two lives that stood out from the others. These were my previous life and my current one.

1- In all my other lives, the time when Thanatos revealed this to me was very similar, without many years of difference - at most 1 or 2. However, in my current one, he revealed YEARS in the past. This is notable for the fact that, in the vast majority of my memories, I'm a good few years older, and that Thanatos and I are teammates.

2- In my previous life, when he revealed this, I, like all the other ones, tried to kill myself. Until then, this life apparently didn't have any major differences compared to the others, everything went on as normal. But, for some reason, Thanatos saved me, preventing my death. And that's where my memories end. And now, the worst discrepancy I've noticed.

3- In none of my other lives did my parents die. In other words, my powers were activated for other reasons. I could be here, at this very moment, without my parents having died.

They died in vain.

During those three years of mourning, I sank into my studies, I killed myself in training to save as many people as possible as quickly as possible, to deal with the pain, the emptiness. And the ONLY thing that comforted me was the thought that, from heaven, my parents were proud. They had sacrificed themselves. Their death was for the "greater good":

"Hah" - I smile, bitterly - "Greater good... how ridiculous"

Worst of all, I couldn't reveal any of this to anyone. I had to keep it a secret. I closed my eyes, trying to calm down. I didn't feel like crying. I knew it was useless. It's not as if I could go back in time. Besides, just like when my parents died, right now I have much bigger problems to deal with...... ... ... Still, a day's rest, or a few days, wouldn't hurt, would it? Since my parents died, I've never had time to really leave Élenkos, to visit the city... to visit their grave...

I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling:

"I think I'll take some time off"

This incident happened a few weeks ago, and I took some time off to think about everything that had happened over the last few years, since until then I had never stopped to calm down and rest. The superiors were strangely understanding when I mentioned going on vacation, perhaps because in the time I've been an official agent, I've never had a break. So, after almost four years stuck in Élenkos, without going out on the town, I FINALLY went out for a walk like any young person my age. Well, maybe not literally. I was totally oblivious to what was going on in the world, and my friends were all working, so I was alone. It all got off to a bad start when I realized that the only outfit that fit me was my uniform. Frankly, I took care of my body, but I forgot the biggest priority: clothes. Really? Wearing my own uniform, obviously without the Élenkos brooch, I went into town with a single objective: to buy clothes: