Mismatched Socks

Sophia - Chapter 30: Catching flies

I did not know she would be back. I did not know she would ever come back. I did not know she would be standing on that little stage being even more beautiful than she was, playing the bass. The band takes a break and Kai joins us by hugging Elise from the back. They kiss passionately and then hold hands to talk to us. Valerie and Kai start a conversation about the music Marc and Gladys chose.

My eye falls on Colin and Elton talking and laughing as their hands gently find each other's over and over again. After I broke up with Renée, our friendship went downhill. Colin didn't do anything wrong, I just felt extremely guilty about breaking up with his best friend. To be honest, I was also a little scared that Renée would talk bad about me behind my back to him. It's silly, she would never do that. She would just rant on about some things that annoyed her, but she would never make a person seem evil or bad.

Colin notices me looking at him. He smiles softly and waves at me. I wave back at him, not wanting to ignore him. Elton gives him a little kiss on the cheek and Colin looks at him surprised, but then kisses his boyfriend on the lips. They make a great couple, but I can imagine how they confused they must have been.

'OMG!' Parker exclaims loudly. A lot of people – including me – look over at her. Apparently Arthur tripped and fell against Parker. Parker then tripped and spilled her glass of red wine on Renée's dress. 'I am so sorry!' Parker and Arthur say as they look at Renée's stained dress. 'It's okay,' Renée says and smiles softly at them. 'You can never wear white and not spill on it,' she chuckles and makes her way to the toilets.

My body starts doing something I might regret later, I follow her to the bathroom. Once I enter, I see Renée holding her dress under water. She stands there in her underwear and looks up at me surprised. 'You should've put salt on it,' I say and take closer look at the stain. 'It's already going away, it was still wet,' she says, not looking at me. The stain indeed disappears.

Renée holds her now wet dress under one of the hand dryers. 'So, how have you been?' I ask hoping to break the silence. 'It's alright. You?' She briefly looks at me from the mirror. 'I am fine,' I say. What the hell did I break? 'You should go back to your girlfriend.' I look up at Renée, surprised. 'She's not my girlfriend.' Renée holds up her dress to see if it's still wet. 'Your date then,' she says and puts back on her dress. It surprises me that she has a hint of an American accent. That's what you get spending everyday for the past five years surrounded by Americans?

'It's just like a friendly date. We are not dating,' I say nervously, twirling a strand of hair around my fingers. 'Great,' Renée sighs and washes her hands. 'Do you want to hang out some time?' My voice is so silent, I doubt if she heard me. Renée dries her hands and turns to look at me. 'We could go to the cinema or something?' I ask. For the first time in four years and a half she looks me in the eye.

'I am twenty-four, I have a freaking PhD and I am so fucking lost in this world. I am not supposed to be lost. And I don't need you to get me even more lost than I already am.' And by that said, she storms out of the restrooms. Shocked by her ruthless rejection, I stand here for a while. To calm myself down a little, I wash my hands with cold water.

I must've been in here for a long time, because Valerie comes to find me. 'Ah, there you are!' she smiles. I try to force a smile on my face, but don't succeed. 'What's wrong?' Valerie asks worried, laying a hand on my arm. When tears start filling my eyes, I tell the story of Renée and me. Valerie hugs me, trying to comfort me. 'Someone should write a damn book about the two of you,' she says, still hugging me. I chuckle softly.

Valerie and I make our way back to the party were the band is playing music again. Marc dances with Gladys, they seem so happy. Valerie and Elise try to make me dance with them, I roll my eyes and join them. The music changes and parker starts to sing. I recognize the song from Florence and The Machine, Never Let Me Go. Renée once told me that she and Marc started to bond better after they both found out that they liked the same artist.

To my – and I think everyone's – surprise Renée starts to sing along with her. I have never heard her sing, she was always too shy to do so. If you told me I was staring with my mouth open catching flies, I would believe you. Renée can sing beautifully, it's not perfect, but it's beautiful. If I were an emoji, my eyes would be hearts. I can't stop smiling, listening to her sing. She smiles at Parker as they sing together.

I am not and will not every be over Renée Marie Moons. I have made the most stupid mistake to ever brake up with her, all that because I was insecure she wouldn't make it work. And I was the problem all along, I did not make it work. I didn't listen to her, I wasn't patient. I was against her leaving from the beginning and that sabotaged the most precious thing we had. And all of a sudden I feel like I can cry. She would never take me back at all, she's over me and will move on, not looking back.

Wordcount: 1009