Reneé Rapp one shots :)

My love mine, all mine

Word count: 1554
Warnings: fighting, anxiety
Summary: y/n's parents are fighting again, so she calls her big sister Reneé

My hands shake as I sit in silence, tears streaming down my face. I listen as my parents yell, swearing and screaming at each other. I don't know what it was about, but their fights could get intense, it's no wonder my siblings left home so early.

My sister Reneé moved out a couple years back when she booked mean girls on Broadway, ever since then she's been working and in her own home, which is amazing. After she moved out she promised that she would come back every few weeks, but I guess she didn't see her career taking off in the way it has because I haven't seen her in almost two months.

My brother Charles moved out almost three years ago, when he went to college. He's still there and im glad he's happy, but he never calls or messages me really.

Reneé messages me when she can and FaceTimes me at least once a week depending on how busy she is. I appreciate that she tries, I just wish I could be with her more.

I remember when we were younger she would always hug me whenever my parents would fight. She would try to block it out or take me out the house when she was home. When she wasn't home I was left alone because Charles usually was with his friends or on his Xbox.

Back then they would shout at each other but it would rarely get physical between the two of them. Recently it's gotten worse. I feel like I'm the mediator and constantly treading on eggshells trying to be right and stay out of trouble, but it's exhausting.

Thankfully I'm a good kid, so I don't get into much trouble, but they seem to be getting even more strict than they were with Rae and Charles. Rae was the worst of us, though, sneaking out and skipping school, she would always get the most punishments. I would always make sure to comfort her afterwards, just like she would me. We were a team.

I hear a smashing sound, making me jump out of my skin and cover my ears. Whenever they get bad like tonight I try to block it out or message Reneé because I can't get out of the house without them seeing me, and she made me promise to always message her if they get bad.

"I can't believe you! That's $40 down the drain!"
"Yeah well good job I work to fucking pay for these things!"
"Fuck you! Do you not even see the issue here?"
"Maybe you should look in a mirror, there's my issue."
"You can't even admit that this is your fault!"
"Because I haven't done anything wrong!"

I close my eyes and rock myself back and forth, trying to comfort myself in any way I knew how. I wanted to leave home like my siblings did, but I couldn't. I wasn't talented like Reneé and I wasn't smart like Charles. I was stuck until I could get a job that pays enough for me to live on my own.

"Get the fuck off of me you disgusting mother fucker!"
"I can't believe this shit!"
"Get your fucking hands off of me!"
"You shut your fucking mouth!"

My heartrate only seems to be increasing, my whole body shaking as a result. I wanted to run, I wanted to get out of the house, but I knew if I tried to leave they would catch me, and I would be in trouble for breaking my curfew.

I check the time and see that it's almost midnight, which means for Reneé it's almost nine, which means she won't be busy. I open my phone and press the call button, putting the phone to my ear. I hear my unsteady breathing and my heart beat for a few seconds before I hear the voice I need.

"Rae." I say, glad she was finally on the phone.
"Y/n hey- baby what's wrong?" She says, instantly knowing something wasn't right. "I c-can't..." I whisper, my anxiety getting the better of me now I was letting my walls down in front of Reneé. "Deep breaths, in and out." She reminds me and I nod, taking a few deep breaths before talking again.

"Mom and dad are fighting again." I say and I can already feel her worry through the phone. "Where are you? Are you safe?" She asks, sounding more alert than when she answered the phone.

"I'm in my room, by my radiator, I locked the door." I say. "Good, it's gonna be okay." She says, and I nod, hearing another loud smash. It causes my whole body to tense up and I know she can hear it. "Holy shit y/n are they okay?" She says and I shake my head, letting out a small cry before responding. "I don't know."

"Nae what's wrong?" I hear in the background. I recognise it as Alyah, Raes best friend. "One second." She says, her voice slightly muffled before going back to me. I feel my phone vibrate slightly and pull it away from my ear, answering the incoming FaceTime call from Reneé.

"Baby look at me, you're gonna be okay. It's scary for now, I know that, but I'm right here with you. Nothing can hurt you." She says and I nod, wiping my tears away. "Nae what's going on?" I hear Alyah and see her walk into the room in the background. "My parents, just give me a minute." She responds and the other girl nods, sitting down next to my sister.

Suddenly the shouting gets a lot louder, and I can tell Rae can hear it too. "Fuck you! I can't believe I married you!"
"Yeah well the feelings fucking mutual!"
"Get out of my house! Get out my fucking house!"
"Whatever! Fuck you and fuck her!"

I immediately panic, starting to move frantically, trying to coordinate my body to get up and run like it desperately needed to.

"Hey, y/n, look at me. Take a deep breath, it's okay. They just do this. Don't listen to what they're saying, focus on my voice." She says and I nod, looking at her and listening to what she's saying.

"Did you want me to talk or ask questions?" She asks and wipe my tears with shaky hands as I respond. "Talk please." I whisper. She nods and starts talking almost instantly.

"Today I went out shopping with yaya. I got a few things for the house and I think you would really like them. You should come see them, maybe I can talk mom and dad into letting you come down and visit." She says and I nod. "And we watched a movie, it was called the wonder, fucking weird if you ask me."

"Super good though!" Alyah butted in and Rae nodded, smiling. "It was really good, and Florence Pugh? Damn." She laughs and I chuckle with her, smiling. "See? There we go." She says and I nod. "Thanks Rae." I say and she smiles, a soft look in her eyes. "Anytime baby."

"You should try sleep, you've got school tomorrow. Did you do all your homework?" She asks and I nod. "Of course." I say and she chuckles. "Good otherwise shit would go down when you get back tomorrow."

I laugh and nod. "You already know it would." She nods and we sit in silence for a few seconds before I speak up. "Can you stay until I fall asleep?"
"Of course. I'll stay as long as you need."

I get ready while she stays on my phone, always in my line of sight. We stay in mostly silence, her watching me and me just getting ready. I brush my teeth and change into less sweaty clothes, and I tie my hair back in a braid.

I grab my stuffed animal from the floor where I was sat before and get into bed, turning on a small light some may call a night light, but I call a safety light, and turn the rest of my lights off. I make sure my door is still locked before snuggling up in my bed, plugging my phone in and propping it up so that Reneé can see me.

I lay staring at her as she looks back at me, both of us letting the comfortable silence consume us. "Can you sing something?" I ask quietly. "Really?" She says, chuckling. I smile, knowing she doesn't really mind. Her soft voice slowly fills the air, and I allow my eyes to close in the presence of her comfort.

"Moon, a whole of light. Through the big top tent up high. Here before and after me, shining down on me. Moon tell me if I could, send up my heart to you. So when I die, which I must do, could it shine down here with you?"

Each word she sings wraps itself around me, protecting me like a warm blanket. I let myself drift off to sleep listening to the angelic sounds coming through my screen, and I thank the gods that she's my sister.

"Cause my love is mine, all mine. I love, mine mine mine. Nothing in the world belongs to me, but my love mine, all mine, all mine."