The 𝕸𝖆𝖗𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖌𝖊 Dilemma ║ 🄹🄹🄺

Chapter 57

'Where are you?'

'At least tell me that you didn't get kidnapped and that you're safe.'

You had started crying as soon as you closed the door behind you, making your way downstairs only relying on muscle memory since your eyes were clouded by tears. Having exited the hotel building, you welcomed the evening breeze and the salty air. You'd wandered aimlessly through the empty streets, trying to get rid of all the emotions you were going through and trying to calm down. And for the past half hour, you had. You weren't really sure where you ended up, just that you could clearly hear the ocean waves from here, though it was so dark that you weren't sure where exactly the water was.

'Text me where you are so I can pick you up.'

How could he say that? He had no right to be worried, not after acting like that. The knot in your throat was there again, making you feel like you couldn't breathe.

'Please.'

Tears formed in your eyes again and you tried your best to blink them away. You phone rang again. Jungkook's name lit up on the display. 

You picked up, with the intention to tell him that you were fine and that he should just go to sleep.

"Where are you?"

He sounded concerned. He had no fucking right to be. Tears started flowing, big fat drops that were dropping straight onto the floor. 

"Y/N, please tell me where you are."

Why did he have to say please?

"I-" Your voice broke. You sniffled. "I don't know. Some random street, can't read the name."

You held the phone a few inches away from your head in hopes that the microphone wouldn't pick up on any noise you were making. 

"Can you send me your location? Or at least a photo from the street name."

"You should go to sleep, it's already late", you finally said.

"I'll do that right after I pick you up."

"I'll come back later, don't worry."

It took everything you had to keep your voice from quivering.

"You don't have your keycard."

Right, there was that. You swallowed. The thought of spending the night outside, still wearing your sundress over your bathing suit and nothing else, made you uneasy. But the alternative?

After a long moment of silence, you finally said something.

"Alright." With that, you hung up on him, took a photo of the street name and sent it. By the time Jungkook arrived, you had just managed to pull yourself together and stop crying. 

The black Mercedes pulled up and you stood up, ready to get in. Before you managed to do that, though, Jungkook got out of the car. You avoided looking in his direction, even as he walked over to you.

"Listen, I-" he started.

"Let's just not talk about it, alright?" you said before he could go any further. You dared to look up at him, his face only inches away from yours. 

"I'm sorry", he said, His voice was small, barely audible. "I'm so, so sorry", he said again, this time louder.

You couldn't help those damn tears from forming again. You lowered your gaze, trying to hide your glossy eyes. You reached for the doorhandle. His hand darted towards yours in an attempt to stop you.

"I didn't mean what I said."

"I know", you said. And it was true. Because it was Jungkook, after all. How could he mean it when he'd put so much effort into showing you he cared? The anger had long dissipated. All that was left behind was a mess of feelings that you didn't want to acknowledge.

Before you could say anything else, his arms wrapped around your shoulders, bridging the distance between the two of you. You stayed like that for a moment, not sure how to react, just breathing in his scent and feeling his chest rise and fall. 

"I- I need you to know that I didn't mean it like that", he muffled in your hair. He hugged you tighter.

That's all it took for you to fall completely apart. You couldn't suppress the sobs any longer, your shoulders rising and falling as you tried to not choke on your tears. You wrapped your arms around his waist. Jungkook's hand instinctively found its way into your hair, playing with it gently while holding you. It was so... domestic, so soft and comforting that for a brief moment, you wanted it to last.

"I'm sorry for treating you like that for the past few days, I had no right to let it all out on you. It wasn't fair. And I'm sorry for making you tag along to that dinner and for saying it was your fault it was a disaster. And for ruining the hike and the honeymoon and-"

"Jungkook?"

"Yes?" He stopped playing with your hair.

"I know you're sorry." You took a moment to answer. "It's- I'm not used to being in the media spotlight, and I did mean it when I said that I don't enjoy being called names. But me lashing out like that wasn't fair either, so I guess we're even."

He didn't say anything for a few seconds. During that deafening silence, the blood rushing though your head and the tears fading away as quickly as they came, Jungkook's heart was beating so loud against his chest that you wondered if he'd run a marathon on his way here.

"How can you say we're even? After putting up with everything?"

Were you wrong though? After all, if you were to look at this entire situation from a logical perspective, one that you had lost track of, all this was still was part of the contract. Attending business dinners, spending time with him, making everyone think that Jungkook and you were in love: you signed up for this. So you had no right to lash out like that, because at the end of the day, your feelings shouldn't matter. Jungkook was, at best, a friend. A friend that you've had your ups and downs with, admittedly. At worst, he was someone you'd developed feelings for. Feelings weren't part of the contract, so what gave you the right to expect anything more?

And then why did it feel so right to be in his arms? To share the same bed? To wear his clothes?

You let go of his waist and tried to pry his arms from you at least a little so you could look him in the eyes. They were puffy and red and his hair was still messy. You couldn't help but be fond of his lovely doe eyes. 

"Because we're friends, aren't we? And friends put up with that. And they also tell them when they've been acting like a cunt."

He laughed at your choice of words, that bunny smile replacing the guilt-ridden expression. Much better.

"Yeah, cunt is a nice way to put it", he said, "At least let me apologize properly with some ice cream. You know, in proper friendly tradition."

You nodded, delighted at the idea. With that, the hug ended and you got into the car with so many words still left unsaid.

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A/N:

Wrote an exam today. I'm writing an exam tomorrow. Did I spend the time that I should've used to prepare for that exam by procrastinating and writing this chapter? Perhaps.

- TC