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pt.16

"Hey," someone nudged me in the arm, "Hey wake up."

I opened my eyes and remembered what happened the night before, a new wave of joy spreading over me. "I'm waking up only because I'm told that I must."

Tyler propped himself up on his elbow, supporting his head with his hand. "I only wanted to wake you up so I could see your eyes."

I smiled and turned to face Tyler, realizing as I did that I was still naked and under a thin cotton sheet. "Well now you can," I said as I scooted toward him, making my eyes bug out for emphasis.

Tyler laid his head back down on his pillow and pulled me toward him, his arm around my bare waist. "I could look into your eyes for a million years Aurora."

I tilted my head up to kiss him and we became locked in an embrace, Tyler was kissing me like he never had before, like it was time to say goodbye.

Abruptly, he pulled away. "What's the matter?" I asked, fearful that I may have done something wrong.

"I have to go, you can stay here as long as you want but I won't be home for awhile."

"Well where are you going?" I felt my heart sinking.

"I just have to go Aurora," he pulled a shirt on, his tone suddenly harsh.

"Okay," I turned away from him as I felt a hot tear run down my cheek.

Tyler didn't seem to notice though, he was already gone.

More tears sprang from my eyes and down my cheeks, I tried not to regret the night before but a part of me did. in the back of my mind a nagging voice repeated, "That's all he wanted you for." The hopeless romantic in me tried to convince myself otherwise.

Maybe he just needs space, it's an overwhelming sensation to be that vulnerable with someone. I got up from Tyler's bed and picked up my clothes that were scattered around the floor, putting them on as I found them and left. I locked his apartment behind me and went home to shower.

I felt like I needed to wash away the hurt, wash away what happened last night. I am a very sensitive person, especially when it comes to relationships and emotional things, so for Tyler to act like that really made me upset, it hit a certain button that I don't know how to fix.

I finally got into my apartment and ran straight for the bathroom, all the while tears were still pouring out of me.

He doesn't love you, you know.

You don't know anything, of course he loves me.

Then why would he leave you so soon?

Maybe he had something to do that he forgot about.

Maybe he had someone else to do that he forgot about.

Shut up, Tyler does love me. He does care.....doesn't he?

No.

My internal monologue continued that way for an hour and a half, each thought tearing me apart more and more. I did nothing after my shower, just put on a robe and laid down to watch a few movies, waiting to see if maybe Tyler would call me to apologize, but he never did.

I tried to understand what happened, tried to remember if someone had called him or anything that would give him a reason to leave after what we gave each other. Just as I was destroying myself farther, Josh called me.

"Hey Aurora, are you busy?"

"No," I said, my voice nasally from all the crying.

"Sweet, okay do you think we could meet for lunch or something?"