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pt. 7

I got up in the morning to find Tyler still asleep in my bed. He must have eventually cried himself to sleep last night. I felt bad for him, I know what those moments feel like and I know I'd be ashamed if I did that in front of someone. I don't want Tyler to be ashamed though, it was okay that he started crying, it happens. All I want to do is find out what was the matter and help him.

I sat up in bed and looked over at Tyler's sleeping frame. He had a very peaceful expression on his face, it wsn't twisted in agony as it had been the night before; so I decided to let him sleep. I got out of bed as quietly as I could, grabbed an outfit, and went into the bathroom to get dressed. I looked at my face in the mirror, I was getting dark circles under my eyes, my lips were chapped. You could tell I hadn't been sleeping. I threw my hair in a messy braid and got dressed, I want to go get Tyler some coffee and doughnuts for breakfast before he wakes up. That will make him feel better, right?

Before I left I put a note on the table telling Tyler where I'd gone should he wake up. I walked the three blocks to the doughnut shop, saving my cab money for the way back and ran into Josh as I entered.

"Hey, Aurora!" He said standing up from the table he was sitting at with another guy and a girl.

"Oh, hey Josh. What a coincidence."

"Hey come here I want to introduce you to some more of Tyler's friends." He pulled my wrist over to the table. He acted like an excited puppy as he introduced them. "This is Mark, Tyler and I have known him for years."

Mark gave him a look and sarcastically said, "It's Clark."

Josh rolled his eyes and laughed, which I joined in on because I thought I was supposed to. He continued, "And this is Debby, my girlfriend." At the word both Debby and Josh smiled, obviously in love. "And guys this is Aurora, she's Tyler's um," he looked at me to fill in the word.

"I'm Tyler's friend," I looked around a little awkwardly. I didn't like just calling myself his friend, it felt like more than that, but I didn't want to label anything that Tyler would be uncomfortable with.

"Aurora," Debby said, "That's an unusual name."

"My mother was obsessed with Sleeping Beauty," I reply with a laugh.

Debby smiled and I excused myself. I didn't want them to know that Tyler spent the night last night, or why. I got the donoughts and coffee and caught a cab back to my apartment. I walked in to Tyler playing AM, the Arctic Monkeys album, on my record player and singing an octave higher than the way Alex Turner sings it.

"'Now it's three in the morning and I'm trying to change your mind, left you multiple missed calls and to my message you reply, 'Why'd you only call me when you're high? Hi, why'd you only call me when you're high?'"

I tried not to let him know I was home, to keep quiet and listen to him sing, but he heard the door shut behind me. He turned around and smiled at me.

"Hey," he replied turning the off the record.

"Hi," I smiled back at him and sat down the box. "I got coffee and doughnuts."

"Cool, I'm starving." He took a coffee from me and grabbed a dougnut from the box. We kept the conversation light, not mentioning what happened last night. "So listen, about last night," Tyler started.

I stopped him before he could continue, "Tyler you don't have to explain yourself to me, I understand that sometimes you can't hold it back anymore."

Tyler looked grateful that I explained it for him and went back to his doughnut.

"So what are you doing later?" He finally broke the silence looking up.

"I had plans with you today remember? I mean if you don't want to that's fine." Did he not want to hang out with me anymore?

"Oh shoot, right I forgot sorry. Well I'd love to cook you dinner and introduce you to the rest of my friends."

"Well I ran in to Josh this morning at the doughnut shop and he-"

Tyler cut me off before I could finish and grew very serious, "Did you tell him I was here?"

I was taken aback by his reaction but told him I didn't.

He then became calm, "Okay, great."

"What's the big deal?"

"Josh doesn't know about anything, he's just my fun loving happy pal. I can't burden him with this." He gestured to himself.

"Tyler there's no shame in being a little messed up, we all are."

He didn't answer me, so I didn't say anything else on the subject.

After awhile I stood up and took our plates to the sink. As I washed the dishes, Tyler came up behind me, putting his arms around my waist. I melted into him, swaying where he went.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

"Doing this to you."

I turned around with water still on my hands and grabbed Tyler's face, "Don't ever say that again."

His eyes went somber as I gazed into them. "I don't want to do this to you, make you my crutch." He tried to turn his head away but I pulled it back up to mine,our foreheads touching.

"I would love to be your crutch, Tyler."

He smiled a half smile then said he ought to his house and get dressed.

He kissed me on the forehead and left in a whisper.