Skeletons

Chapter 1

January 8th, 2005: 

"Mom?" I turn my head to her while she drives. "Yes, Lydia?" She glances at me for a few seconds before turning her eyes back to the road. "How much longer is it going to be until we get there?" My mother sighs and then looks at me. "Patience Lydia, but probably about an hour and a half until we get to the city." I nod my head and the conversation goes quiet as she keeps driving her eyes focused on the road.

 After a few minutes of silence, I speak again. "What was his name?..." My Mother's grip on the wheel tightens. "What was who's name?" I decided to be upfront as she can't lock herself in her room since she is driving. 

"My Father" It takes her a few minutes to respond as she gathers her thoughts. "His name is not important HE is not important." I snap back my tone becoming more hostile and frustrated. "It matters to me." My mother sighs at me before finally responding. "Jason...his name was Jason." I get the urge to ask more questions but I stop myself since it seems like this whole conversation is really upsetting her. "Thank you." She nods her head. "Sure.." 

The rest of the car ride is filled with silence but it's a comfortable one as if we both understand what the other is thinking.

We eventually make it to a rest stop. I get out of the car and stretch my legs before walking into the gas station. I step inside and pick out a bag of Haribo gummy bears and a coke then wait for my Mom to be done browsing the isles. eventually she goes up to the counter with a pack of gum a water and some BBQ corn nuts. 

As we walk out of the store I notice my Mothers eyes turn to a wall with ads for local businesses. I see her looking at one in particular "Big bud deans deconstruction is back UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT" Her face goes pale white and she slows down her pace before quickly walking out of the store.

_ 

I never thought I would see his face again. I thought I had left him on the steps of Westerberg all those years ago. I saw him in her...In Lydia. It was always bearable because she was my carbon copy for the most part. Her father's resemblance was mostly down to their mannerisms and patterns of speech,  but now looking at his last name in bold writing I could only see him when I looked at her. I could only see that face that stupid fucking sociopathic face that destroyed me from the inside out. How was this possible? I saw that bomb go off, granted I went back inside to Westerberg before the smoke cleared. But he surely died I mean he had a bomb strapped to his fucking chest. 

I guess I was wrong.

"Lydia lets get back on the road ok?..." She nods at me a look of concern plastered across her face. her deep brown eyes focused on me. I knew that look it was the same one that spread across his face when he saw me hanging from my closet.

As we get back in the car and drive I can't help but to think or more so rethink the past 15 years none of it was true, the nights I spent crying broken on the floor over the stress of being a single parent so young on top of university on top of the ptsd and trauma directly caused by his actions.

 My grip on the steering wheel tightens as I think of HIM living his best life enjoying his twenties having a life, then once he had his fun taking over his daddies business blissfully unaware of me or his child. 

"MOM" 

The sudden words jolt me out of my trance. "You're going to miss the exit" Lydia says pointing at the exit that takes us into the city. "SHIT" I yell out and quickly turn my car into the exit jolting Lydia around and causing the others on the road to honk and glare at my car. "Jesus Christ-" Lydia looks shaken up when she says that. " Sorry Didi I got distracted." I look over at her with regret and remorse painted on my face. "It's fine...just pay more attention to the road I guess."