Glendale

Chapter Seven

Genevieve

Visiting Josh in the hospital took me back to a time in our past. "I know you'll be here for another week." "Yeah." "You remember in the 8th grade when you joined that gang and you were like the one Mexican?" "Yeah." "Then DJ and Coco beat us at cutest couple in yearbook. You went to beat him up but he kicked your ass." Josh chuckled. He grabbed my hand. "Listen, Genny, the whole thing with us was fucked up. We were in the 8th grade. I thought I could keep my temper. I guess I just lost it." "I still have the scars," I say under my breath. "I was crazy. I just needed my girlfriend. I guess I kind of did take advantage of you a little bit. I'm sorry about that. " "It was hard for me to move on and actually find love after you Josh. You were my first everything. I literally just let you go. I can barely remember the life I had before you. You were my first boyfriend,my first love, my time ,also times 2-36. I still love you Josh but I can't keep letting you hurt me." "The deli joke...I was kidding. *Te amo sin cariño." *"¿Cómo sabes cuando amas a alguien?" *"Puedo decepcionarla un millión de veces y sé que no soy lo suficientemente bueno pero voy a quedarme." "You almost killed me Josh more than once. You needed help. Maybe my mom wasn't the best therapist for you but she helped you a long way." "I do miss you okay. I mean I know I had a problem...have a problem but I've been working on it." "You know I really don't know what the hell you're doing trying to get Harmony into your bed. She won't be as good as me." "You think I don't know that?" "Then why are you with her." "She was your friend." "And..." "She's like my gateway to you I guess." "Oh. Well that's fucked up. You could've just asked to be with you again. I would've." "Nah,you deserve better. I was a controlling, drug addicted bastard." " We were like 6 when we first met." "Yeah but I started doing cocaine when I turned 12. We can't choose our uncle's. " "I know." "Yet you loved me." "It wasn't a big deal Josh." "I almost stabbed you to death, I almost beat you to death. When I was on acid that night high as a goddamned kite with a gun to my head and a bottle of bacardi in my lap you were there. You loved me and I walked over you. You put up with my immature bullshit for 10 years. Every fucking day it was the Same antics! So don't you dare say that everything you did for me wasn't a big deal because it's a huge deal okay! You succeeded in being the first girl I ever loved and I threw you away and all I can say is Sorry!" I was honestly taken aback. "Josh." "You asked why I hated Tony so much... it's because he gets to love you. He gets to love you right the way you deserve to be loved. " "Josh?" "Yeah? " "Shut up." I lean down and kiss him. "I forgive you." "Thank you...you do realize we're both cheaters now right. " "It was just a kiss." "But I'm not Tony an dad you aren't Harmony so it's a cheaters kiss." We burst into laughter. "I miss us being friends. " " We can start that up again." "Sure. " "You can start by telling me that my hair looks amazing.", Josh said. "You're hair looks flawless. " "That's even better than what I asked." "Now you have to say something about me that you like." "You're nails I guess... you have like really attractive feet." "Thanks."

*I love you without affection
* How do you know when you love someone?
*I can let her down a million times I know I'm not good enough for her, yet she stays.