~Him~

Chapter 16: A night to remember.

Was I dreaming last night?. Because the things that Emliy told me scared the shit out of me. How could she let me drink that much and practically throw myself on a taken man.

"Well, if I'm going to be honest, I don't think their relationship is going to last long. Did you see how unhappy he looked?" Emily said quickly. "They had an argument Ems, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love her." I looked down.

"You are being delusional.  He clearly still has feelings for you, and so do you. So cut the shit, " She said, looking at me seriously.  Was she right? Do I still have feelings for the kurt cobain. Maybe. "Can we go get something to eat, I'm starving," I said, throwing the pillow in my face in defeat. I don't want to have this conversation.  Not now, not ever. But oh, how he smiled when he said he thinks that we should try again one day.

It was all good to be true

"Fine, but after please drop me off at the house, I've got some chores to do before my dad gets home," she said, rolling her eyes. I just politely smiled and stood up, looking for clothes to wear.

My head was pounding. It felt like I might throw up at any second. Maybe after I drop Emily, I can take a nap.

After we finished getting dressed, we got into the car and made our way to the nearest pizza shop. We ate and laughed about the randomest stuff, forgetting all the chaos that happened yesterday. I was grateful that someone like Emily could take my mind off of things quickly. She had done so much for me. It's actually quite scary.

After we ate, I drove to her house. Gave her a big hug goodbye, and made my way back to the house with the biggest headache. If I was going to feel like this every time after drinking , I'm never doing that again.

When I got into my room, I grabbed some oversized clothes and crashed onto my bed. I closed my eyes about to sleep but got interrupted by the sound of clicking against my window. I have never jumped so fast in my life. Was someone trying to break into my house? My heart was beating out of my chest as I slowly walked towards the window. There stood kurt, with a hand full of rocks. About to throw another rock. So cliche, i thought. "What are you doing here?" I mouthed. He just answered with a smile and a slight wave.

If my dad was home, I would probably be dead.
I rolled my eyes and opened the window. "Hey," he said, smiling.

"What are you doing?" I asked, sounding furious.  "I just want to talk. Do you have a minute?" He asked with an innocent smile. I look at the clock in my room. My father would be home in about 40 minutes.

"Hurry," I answered. He answered by climbing the trees without any hesitation.  "Idiot, just come through the door, I'm alone," I laughed.  Embarrassment flushed through his face. He let out an awkward laugh and climbed back down , making his way to the door scratching his head slightly.

I did not waste any time but ran downstairs, not caring how I looked.
I let out a giggle when i heard kurt knock on the door. What a gentleman I thought.

I opened the door, revealing the man who I've been dreaming about, the man I cried about. The man who stole my heart and left it there to rot.
My smile quickly faded away. All the memories we made a few years ago never seemed to leave my head.

"Hey," I whispered. "Remind me why you're here again?," I asked, looking down. "I wanted to talk, clear the air before we leave for new York," he said looking at me. New york
The man I've been in love with is leaving again.

I let out a big sigh.  "Congratulations, tho," I said, smiling. "For?," he asked confusingly.  "For reaching your dreams, I knew you could do it," I answered. My response took him hy surprise. As if he didn't expect those words. I continued to look at him before I noticed he was still standing outside. "Shit,, I'm sorry, come in," I said, moving away from the door. When he entered the house, I closed the door and led the way to my room.

"I know it might be messy, I'm sorry. I didn't know someone would show up by surprise," I said sarcastically.  "It's fine. My room used to look worse than this anyways," he laughed.
"Hey, uhm," kurt said, stopping looking at me. "I'm sorry for everything, I know I've been a shitty person. But I regret everything," he said, looking deep in my eyes. "You already apologized. And it's fine I guess," I said, smiling awkward.  Come to think of it. "Where is courtney?," I asked, fidgeting with my fingers. "She is gone. She left this morning to go to a tour with her band in San Francisco," he said smiling.  "Why do you look so happy about it?," I asked.

I knew something was up. "I just needed some time alone," he said, flopping onto my bed. "Come join me," he smiled. I walked slowly towards my bed, sitting in the middle of my bed. "Do you love her?," I asked looking down at my fingers. Kurt let out a big sigh. "I don't know, the sex is good I guess. But I don't know. One time we're good then the next we are mortal enemies.  I don't feel good enough for her. She makes me feel bad," he said looking right at me.

I replied just by sighing, laying on the bed next to him. "I'm sorry," I said with a comforting smile. "I've missed this, I've missed you," he said looking back at me. I looked back and smiled. "I missed you too Kurt, it's good to know that you aren't mad at me you know," I laughed.  "Why would I ever be mad at you?," he said, confused. I shrugged my shoulders and looked down. "Thought you'd forget me, after, you know. The fame and the perfect lady," I answered. He closed his eyes, as if he couldn't believe my words, he takes a deep breath.

Kurt looks back at me, and my heart dropped. He started to get closer and closer, placing his hand on my cheek.  "I could never forget you, even if I tried so so hard," he whispered. We were so close that I could practically feel his breath on my face. My cheeks slowly formed a pinkish look.

His fingers moved to my jaw, pulling me even closer to him. "Would you ever forget me?," he said breathless as if he'd been holding his breath. I answered him by giving him a soft kiss. He pulled me harder, biting my lip, causing me to open my mouth. He slowly entered his tongue.

"This is wrong, kurt," I said pulling away. "What do you mean, " he said looking confused. "You have Cortney. This isn't fair.," I said throwing my hands in the air. He just continued looking down, with that dissapointed expression.  He then quickly stood up and walked towards my door. "Where are you going, kurt?" I yelled. He stood still for a moment, so I took the opportunity to walk towards him. "I know it's wrong, but it feels so damn right," he said, looking down at me.  My mind was screaming, "Don't do it," but my heart tells me otherwise. Therefore, I threw my arms around his neck. Giving him a soft kiss. "Thank you for being here Kurt, it meant a lot. ," I smiled. "Of course, I should probably get going. The guys are waiting," he smiled, giving me a small peck. "Bye," I said. He answered with a smile, walking out of my room. I stood still until I heard the front door close and flopped onto my bed, smiling

And for the rest of the night, I kept on replying those moments in my head.
'Wow, just wow.' I thought

Then the thought of Cortney came in my mind.  Shit, we messed up big time. That can not happen again. It won't ever happen again.