Welcome back to pure insanity!
...
What am I doing with my life?"Can you two stop with your weird staring contest?"
Britain wasn't exactly wrong. The USSR and USA had been glaring at each other for a solid ten minutes straight in bitter silence.
Nodding, the EU sighed, "America, we should probably find a way to return him to h-"
"YOU'RE HOLDING HANDS!" France gasped, jumping up and pointing excitedly at Euro and Ame.
"ANYWAY-" EU cut her off, pulling her hand out of America's comforting yet possessive grip. "How do we get rid of the USSR?"
"You are a rude... thing," Soviet huffed, eyeing the EU suspiciously, "You're Reich's granddaughter, aren't you?"
"DON'T. BRING. UP. THAT GREMLIN!" The EU hissed, glaring at him even more fiercely than Ame had and frowning in a way that displayed her vampire-like fangs more than she would have perhaps wanted.
Shrugging, the USSR turned to face the UN, announcing, "I'm staying here."
"How did you even get here? You're dead!" The UN asked, begrudgingly curious and respecting of the demonic Russian.
"I don't remember, drunk ingenuity I suppose," Soviet smiled, a cunning glint present in his volcanic orange eye. "Do you know how to send me back to the afterlife, UN?"
"No..." The UN grimaced, fully aware that Soviet was about to get his way, "Who wants to keep an eye on the USSR until we can send him back to hell?"
"ME!" The UK giggled, slipping her arm around the USSR's back.
"Someone missed me, Великобритания~"
"OH, COME ON!" America whined, "WHY DO YOU WANT HIM?!"
"I don't know son, why on Earth do you want the EU?" Britain retorted, staring at the duo.
"I... Mom..." Ame sighed, "At least Euro isn't dead."
"Yet..."
"EXCUSE ME?!"
"NEVER MIND THAT!" France screeched, smirking, "YOU ARE TOGETHER!"
"I dunno, are we?" Ame whispered to Euro, blushing a tomato-y scarlet.
"Do you want us to be?"
"Why..." Britain groaned, watching her son adoringly embrace her former boss.
"And UK and Soviet~?" France giggled, winking at the other potential couple.
"We'll see," Sovi grinned at France, leading the UK out of the room via a side door.
"Hey Rus, got any vodka?"
"Your mum poured it all on my shorts last night," Russia sighed, looking equally as disgusted as the USA himself.
"Oh, I remember now..."
"Ame, let's go back to Germany's..." EU sighed, "He'll work out how to get rid of Soviet for you..."
Not saying anything, America got to his feet, wandering out of the door, devoid of any emotion.
"Ame... Are you ok?"
"Everything I've worked for... All gone because of a stupid conga line..." Ame spoke, his eyes as empty as the graveyard that lay opposite the UN's car park. "And even my own mother loves him..."
"Honestly, Ame..." The EU began, for once unsure of what to say, "I think your mother is going through something; she hasn't been herself in quite some years. And Soviet won't be a problem..."
"He is..." The USA sighed, "He's a problem on steroids."
"You need a break..."
"Let's go home..."
"To yours?"
"No, let's go to Ger-Money's... He'll be on my side at least..."
Once again, the drive was a silent one, aside form America's traumatised screams at the speed the EU was doing on the Autobahn.
"Remind me to never let you drive again," Ame sighed, unfastening his seatbelt and practically peeling himself out of his seat, swinging open Germany's front door.... Snap.
"AMERIKA! I JUST FIXED THAT!" Germany shrieked, catching the door before it squished his guests.
"Sorry," Ame mumbled, "Ger, can I ask you a favour?"
"What now..?"
"The USSR is back..."
"Amerika, he's dead. Please stop drinking that pißwasser of yours."
"Deutschland, he's telling the truth," The EU grimaced, squeezing Ame's hand reassuringly.
"WAS?!"
"So... Could you help us get rid of him?" Ame asked, barely able to hold himself together.
"How can I?"
"I dunno, you're science-y!" Ame sobbed, allowing tears to slip down his cheeks and onto Germany's pristine carpet. "I need a hug...."
"I'm not hugging you. But fine, I'll see what I can do."
"Why won't you hug me?"
"You're a door murderer."
"You're a grinch."
"Ask EU to hug you or something if you really need one."
Laughing at the pair of idiots, the EU cuddled Ame, whispering, "Why don't I leave you two to have a 'bro talk'?"
"Don't say 'bro talk'."
"Ok then... Why don't I leave you two to have a private vent about your mummy issues?"
"WE DON'T HAVE MUMMY ISSUES!" They both yelled as the EU burst into laughter and scuttled away into the kitchen to raid Germany's coffee supply.
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Operation Amerika || BritSov
FanfictionHello reader, ever thought to yourself 'hey, what if an extremely drunk America broke into Germany's house at 3am with his pants on his head?' I'm guessing you probably haven't, for reasons I can't quite explain, I have..! :') Why? Who knows! Am I i...