dancing in the stars (ballerina x singer wlw romance)

chapter eighteen

SUMMER

My brain feels foggy when I open my eyes, the muscles in my body giving up on me when I try to sit on my bed, the room spins and the lights are too bright, forcing me to shut my eyes again and rest my head on the puffy pillow again. I've been in bed for days now– first two days in a hospital bed, then my bed at home.
I feel stupid, not being able to move because I'm too tired to even breathe. Four days ago, after Willow walked out of my house, I went to my moms but I never got there. I remember feeling dizzy, tired, my heart going slower than normal and then... nothing, just darkness and absolutely nothing.
I woke up three hours later in a hospital bed, with needles on my arm and an ice pack in my head— and ankle. My moms sitting next to me in an uncomfortable couch and I immediately felt guilty at their sight. I imagined them completely freaking out when they found me laying on the floor, Mom had dry tears on her cheeks, my Mama was hugging her until they saw me– they both smiled with tears in their eyes and hugged me.

I didn't need to ask what had happened. I knew. My body finally gave up on me. No food, no sleep, just water and overtraining myself day and night will do that to me. I knew that but I kept going– or someone forced me to keep going and I listened.
God, Madame Daisy has been blowing up my phone for days now, asking me to take my time, but telling me, I should go back quickly. The doctor gave me bed rest for five days, ordered me to eat and hydrate myself. I've been diagnosed with anemia when I was sixteen, I should take better care of myself– knowing that I'm a big risk when it comes to food and dancing but how can I?

A knock in my door makes me almost roll my eyes. "Sunshine, are you awake?"

"Yes, mom." my voice sounds raspy, probably because I just woke up from my nap.

The door opens and the footsteps force me to take the sheets off my body. I hear the rain plastering on the window. It's been raining all day and I nearly had two panic attacks because of it but my moms are really good at calming me. Mom is wearing her white pajamas, her hair is tied up into a messy ponytail, red hairs all over her face, making me smile. She skipped work to stay with me while Mama–I assume– is at the Bennett Center with my sisters.
She's holding a bed tray, she places it softly in my bed and my stomach roars at the sight of coffee, french toasts, cupcakes and cookies. I can't help but feel subconscious at the food– I have been eating so much these days, I don't think Madame Daisy will be happy about it.

"How are you feeling?" she asks softly. She's been taking care of me like I'm five years old again and let me tell you, I love it. What? I'm a momma's girl.

"I'm fine, better." I give her a soft smile, crossing my legs and laying my back on the headboard. "Thanks, mom."

She holds the Taylor Swift mug to me and I grab it, the smell of coffee going straight to my lungs. "How are you, really?"

I narrow my eyes at her, a soft chuckle leaving my lips. "I'm fine. Honestly. I'm just... sorry about what I put you through these days."

"Summer, you're my daughter. I'll always be here for you." Mom brushes a strand of my hair  away from my face, her gaze softening when she does. "I should've known that you weren't completely fine. Luna told me but I kept saying that you were okay, you clearly weren't." her blue eyes shine with tears.

"Mom, no." I shake my head. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known. I didn't listen to my body and I'm sorry– I'll do better now, okay? You don't need to worry."

The corner of her lips raise. "I'll always worry about you. I just want you to be okay, Sunny girl. I– We don't want you to overwork yourself, you know? We know dancing is important to you, we understand but you are more important. Keeping yourself alive and healthy it's important. You can't forget who you are in that process."