chapter forty

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SUMMER

The first thing I notice when I open my eyes, it's that I am not in my room, and I'm completely alone. The door is ajar, while the curtains are closed, and soft raindrops clattered against the window, and I can tell it's already morning. First week of November always comes with heavy rain, and it probably won't stop until the first day of summer— and that is not an exaggeration. I scan the room, confused as where I am, and my eyes immediately widen when I remember.
Willow. I fell asleep on her arms, after the craziest night of my life. Has she left? The clock in the wall tells me it's past nine thirty in the morning, she couldn't have left, right?
My stomach is all in knots as I sit on the edge of the bed, recalling how hurt my moms were last night— they wouldn't tell me anything, but I knew it involved Willow. They were talking about lawyers, jail, money— things I have no clue what they were about, and it scared the shit out of me.

Willow's been ignoring me since her mom confronted us in the club. I've been texting her nonstop, telling her not to pull away from me, saying that we'll fix it together. I understand she was probably embarrassed, and I cried. God, I cried because I was missing her. My mom saw me, and demanded to tell her what was wrong, and I did. I told her Willow's mom showed up and asked for money, and she threatened her in the middle of all that. Mom knows what is like to grow up with an awful mother, she experienced it herself until she was adopted, I knew she would understand. What I didn't know was that she was going to talk to Willow. Man, that scared me. Mom never gets in the middle of my friendships, she talks to me, gives me advice, but never goes to talk to the other person involved.

My heart feels heavy when I remember I fell asleep on her arms after telling her my story— Something I never told anyone, but with her I felt safe enough to speak up.
Where is she? my eyes go up when I hear movement in the other room. I get up, searching for my phone— I have so many texts from my moms and sisters, but I ignore them as I get up, careful with my leg. It's getting better— I still can't fully dance, but I'm trying small and short routines on my own. It feels nice— not having someone yelling at me, pressuring me, telling me how and what to eat, how to dance, what to wear. I'm finally free and on my own, Daisy hasn't communicated with me again, and I haven't told my moms that she talked to me— that is just a disaster waiting to happen. I'm okay, I repeat, I'm free.

"Willow?" I call, my voice sounding husky because I just woke up.
Is she even here? Maybe she's at class, or work, or I don't know. Where is she? "Willow!" I say louder, brushing my fingers through my hair.

The white door opens suddenly, the girl with green eyes behind it, and a feeling of relief makes me sigh. "Hey, princess. I'm sorry, I was just making coffee— I clearly suck at it, so I ordered some. I was waiting for them."

All of the words end up piled up together, making me break a smile. She's beautiful, even in the morning.
Her light brown hair is tied in a ponytail with loose strands framing her face, those green eyes are so bright that I feel like she's staring right into my soul. She's wearing overalls and a hoodie underneath it, she's adorable— and I must look like a disaster. I don't look good in the mornings, never did. I even drool, and I'm wearing Spider-man pajamas because I was in a hurry last night and didn't even have time to change my clothes.
Oh, god. I am a disaster in front of the girl I like.

"You're staring." she pokes my nose, making me wrinkle it with a smile.

When did she get this close to me? "I'm not. I'm still sleepy." I fake-yawn.

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