dancing in the stars (ballerina x singer wlw romance)

chapter forty-eight

SUMMER

Today's the day.
December 16th.

The whole reason the universe put Willow James in my life. The whole reason I met the girl I'm in love with. The whole reason I am the person I am today. Free, happy, healthy. Nothing like the person I was when I received that email with her name on it, a complete stranger to me by then, and the love of my life now. Funny how much your life can change in months, how many people you can lose and gain, how much you can suffer and recover. Strange how can a person think they know everything, only to lose themselves at the end, and rediscover their best version of themselves, coming back stronger than ever.

I could've never done that alone. With my injury, I thought my life was over. I thought everything I knew was just a waste, I thought nothing was worth it anymore. But here I am, standing tall and stronger than ever, thanks to my friends, my family. Thanks to her. I don't know if I would've survived without her, even if I had my family. Willow was the most important part in my recovery, I told myself I wanted to get better for her— and somehow, I was, but I also needed to get better for myself. Ballet was not my life, but it is what makes me happy, what helps me distract myself, and maybe what I want to keep doing for as long as my legs let me. Maybe not professionally, but I can teach another little girls about what I know— making their lives better, and not ruin them like Daisy did to me. I want to make a difference in this industry, show the little girls who dream like I did, that ballet is not what the tabloids say about. I can make a difference. I will show the world the difference. How beautiful can be, if you care enough.

Two days ago, I received a call from the British Columbia Academy, offering me a place with them. They said "We were giving you time to heal, you were always our first choice to call. We want you to dance with us." I can't explain the feelings that took over me in that moment,  but I have never said "No, thank you." so fast in my life, and it felt right. So right. They wanted me, but I didn't want them. They told me to think about it, that they will always leave the door open for me— and I told them to give that place to someone else because I was not going back to that environment. It felt so right saying no, and focusing on myself. My present. My future.

I know who I am.

Today's the day my girlfriend's been waiting for years, the event that can change her life. Not only help her financially, but also open the doors to the music industry. She says she doesn't care about it anymore, and maybe she doesn't—with Delilah James away, Willow can find perfectly good balance in her life, and I will always help her– but I do know she's nervous as shit right now, hiding her shaking hands on her front pockets, playing with her hair every few minutes. She's nervous, and I'd be lying if I say I am not. I want to be perfect for her out there, I need her to win this thing.
For years, I have been perfect in ballet. Perfect little Summer Bennett, born to be in a stage, but that was before my injury. What if I'm not good enough anymore? What if I cause her to lose? The choreography is perfect, I know that, but... what if?

Willow's been warming up her voice for a while now, we're in the backstage of the small theater. I've danced in this same very place just last year, another very important roll I achieved as a young ballerina. Now, I'm here again, about to dance with the girl I love.
A lot of ballerinas and singers are around, also warming up their voices and ballerinas stretching getting ready to perform.

The second couple to perform is set in five minutes, the theater is almost full. My entire family came to support me as much as Willow, I know they're all probably in the first row, expecting us to be on stage in a while. We're third in place, so we still have a little while to get ready.
Judges from all over the world are here, music producers, songwriters, musicians, agents, I can understand why every singer in this room is almost shitting their pants. My girlfriend, included.