dancing in the stars (ballerina x singer wlw romance)

chapter thirty-five

SUMMER

"Yeah, no. That's a terrible, terrible idea." Aurora presses her lips together, while shaking her head softly. "I don't see how that could ever work."

I groan, hiding my face in my hands, for the third time. My hand run to my hair, brushing it to the side as I meet my sister's eyes. "I know!"

"Then, why did you do it?"

"I don't know!" I whine, fake-crying into a pillow. "I'm so stupid."

"You're not—" I shoot her a glare. "Okay, maybe a little bit, but you weren't thinking! It was just a moment of weakness! Just talk to her."

"Just talk to her." I mock her, and she laughs. "I can't just 'talk to her', Aurora!"

"Why not?" she groans— which makes me smile, she's so done with me, but she loves me too much to leave. She knows I need her.

"Because!" another high-pitched sound leaves my mouth. "I want to do it— even if I know it's the worst idea I've ever had in my short love life."

"You want to do it." my sister repeats, like she's processing my words. "You want to be friends with benefits with Willow James."

"Oh, woah. Okay." I raise my hands, "Never said friends with benefits— that implies so much more."

She chuckles. "Like what?"

"Sex!" my cheeks turn pink. "We just... kiss sometimes." sometimes a little way too much these past three days.

Her brows raise. "That's even worse!"

I tip my head back, closing my eyes for a moment. "How is kissing worse than having sex with someone, Aurora?"

My sister lets out a loud chuckle. "It just is! When you kiss someone— y'know, you're sharing an intimate moment, just between you two. Couples kiss all the time. Sex is different, you can have sex with someone and never see them again— you know, keep it casual." she meets my eyes, and places a hand on my thigh. She stares deep into my eyes, it feels like she's about to give me some great advice.
"What you and Willow are doing, it's being in a relationship without sex. And— before you say anything, I know you like her, I know she likes you, but someone is gonna end up hurt if this doesn't lead you anywhere else."

I blow out a long sigh, knowing she's right.
Three days have passed since we kissed, and we talked. Three days where she comes to my house, we put on some random movie, and we proceed to kiss the hell out of each other— Okay, I'm exaggerating. We're not just two horny teenagers that had never kissed someone (or am I?) we also talk, eat, and laugh as we share stories— or mostly, I share stories from my childhood and crazy big family. Willow seems to enjoy it, her eyes gleam as she listens to me. I absolutely adore how she looks at me.
Sometimes, Millie joins us to eat and watch whatever movie we put on TV. She's obsessed with Willow, and says she's the coolest girl she's ever met.

Willow and I have fallen into some sort of routine. She goes to work after class, I go to physical therapy four days a week, then help my Moms with whatever they need— I'm also spending a lot of time with Millie again— and when Willow's shift ends she comes home straight to me. She stays until midnight, I order an Uber for her with my phone, because I'm secretly paying for them with my card, and she lets me know she made it to the dorms with an angry text— yelling at me because I paid for her drive.
She's adorable. I told her I wasn't going to stop doing it, she said that if I don't stop, she won't be coming to my house anymore— she was here the next day, and I did it again.
I am loving it, I'm kind of living my best life— free. Freedom is was a feeling I hadn't felt in years, and it's coming back to me step by step. But deep down, I know I'm just ignoring the fact that whatever I'm doing with Willow is dangerous to my heart— It doesn't know we're not in a relationship, and we're just friends. And it's falling hard for the singer, hard and fast— too late to stop it.
Aurora is right— someone is going to end up hurt because of this, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be me.