Me or Her | Bbangsaz

Chapter 58

Minji

I look up when Yunjin walks into our kitchen, dark circles underneath her eyes. I stare at her in disbelief.

Is she truly carrying my child?

She was so adamant that we wouldn't have children for at least a couple more years, so how could this have happened?

When did this happen?

In the weeks leading up to our wedding, all we did was argue. I can't even remember the last time I slept with her. It only could've been that one time that I got drunk shortly after I had Hanni in my lap. I woke up with Yunjin in my bed, when it's Hanni I wanted.

Yunjin takes a seat at the breakfast bar, and the smile on her face grates on me. There's something so smug about it, as though she feels like she's won some sort of game. It wouldn't surprise me if that's exactly how it feels for her. All she does is play with people's lives.

"Where is Hanni?"

I grit my teeth. I don't like hearing my wife's name come out of her mouth. It raises every protective instinct in me and leaves me feeling helpless. I'd destroy her if I could, but she's become even more untouchable to me now.

Not only is she my wife's sister, she's also the mother of my child-supposedly.

"She's at work. She barely slept and rushed out early in the morning."

Yunjin nods, "It must be hard for her, to know that we're having a baby together. I can imagine that now, even more so, she regrets marrying you."

My heart squeezes painfully as fear nips at me. When I spoke to her, we seemed to be on the same page, but for how long? It took all of her to cut ties with Yunjin, and now this? Just being around Yunjin breaks Hanni's heart. What will this pregnancy do to her? I've never felt this much hatred and helplessness.

No amount of power or money can save us from the pain we're about to face. Can I bear seeing my wife cry herself to sleep each time Yunjin hurts her feelings? What if she ends up turning our child against Hanni too? It'd break her heart, over and over again, for years.

"Are we?" I ask, "Are we having a baby together? Is the child mine?"

Hurt flashes through her eyes, and I sigh. I can't tell what's real with her. I have no idea if she's acting, but I wouldn't put it past her.

Tears fill her eyes, and she places a hand on her stomach, "Of course, Minji. What... how could you..." she looks away, a tear running down her face, "Hanni has truly made you hate me, hasn't she? How did she do it? How did she unravel a love that lasted years, in the span of a few months?"

I ball my fist as I suppress the urge to snap at her, "She hasn't," I say, my voice calm, "No one has the power to make another stop loving someone, Yunjin. She didn't steal me away from you. You and I were done long before you chose to walk away. What you and I had... it was born out of obligation."

"And what you have with her isn't?"

I look away and shake my head, "No. It's different with her. I had no intention of making it work with her. If anything, I wanted to give her as much freedom as she possibly could've wanted. I had no expectations when it came to Hanni, yet over time, I found myself wanting more and more of her," I look into her eyes and inhale deeply, "I think you know as well as I do that what I have with her was years in the making. I just didn't realize it."

Genuine pain flashes through her eyes, and she flinches, "Is this really what it's going to be like, Minji? Is our child going to grow up with parents that can't even have one single conversation that isn't drenched in mutual resentment?"

I look away, unable to even imagine a future for the four of us. I take a deep breath and push a stack of papers her way.

"If you and I are having a child together, we'll need to come to an agreement about how we're raising it."

She picks up the documents, her eyes widening, "You want to adopt the baby?"

I nod, "Let's be real, Yunjin. You can't raise a child, but I can. Hanni and I can. I want full custody, and you'll get full visitation rights. You'll be able to continue filming and working. Your life won't be impacted at all, and our child will be raised in a loving home. He or she won't lack anything."

Yunjin swipes the papers off the counter, and they go flying before they reach the floor, "I will never give up on my child," she says, her voice breaking, "How could you ask something like that of me?"

"I'm not asking you to give the baby up, Yunjin. You'd be able to see our child whenever you wanted. Surely this is in your best interests, too? You've always loved your career above all else. This will allow you to see your child without the obligations motherhood would bring you."

She shakes her head, "Do you think I'm stupid, Minji? Do you really think I'll let you take away my child? I sign away my rights, and next thing I know, I'm cut out of your lives. I won't let that happen. Tell me, was that Hanni's idea? Isn't it enough for her to be a home wrecker? Isn't it enough that she's forcing this child to grow up in a broken home?"

"Watch your mouth," I snap, "I'm fucking sick of you putting words in her mouth and blaming her for things she hasn't done. You walked away, Yunjin. End of story. Hanni is my wife, and so help me God, you will respect her. Don't try this fucking shit with me. She might let you get away with this bullshit, but I won't. If you're going to be part of our lives, you'd better learn your fucking place."

She raises her hands and claps slowly, even as tears stream down her face, "Well done," she tells me, "You've become such a good whipped little puppy. What the hell has she done to you, huh? Do you really think I don't realize that these aren't your words? I've been with you for years, Minji, and in all that time, you've never once spoken to me that way, no matter how bad our arguments got. Yet now, with Hanni around, you're suddenly acting all different, and I'm supposed to believe it isn't because of her? Is this how our child is going to grow up, Minji? A person that disrespects their mother because their slut of a stepmom told her to? What else will you do to our child and me just because she tells you to?"

I smile at her humorlessly, "You never fucking knew me at all, Yunjin. You wonder why I fell for her so hard, so quickly? It's because I never loved you in the first place. You were an obligation, someone I tolerated and placated because I had no other choice. I never lost my patience with you because I never truly gave a fuck about you."

She jumps off her seat and approaches me, "Is that what helps you sleep at night?" she asks, her finger digging into my chest, "Are you truly going to stand here and reduce everything we shared to a mere obligation? Is that what our child is to you, too?" She places a hand on her stomach and sniffs, "Does no part of you want to raise this baby with me? Don't you want what's best for our child? Are you truly so blinded by Hanni that you can't see how much you're hurting me? How much your actions will end up hurting our baby? She'll never love our child the way I'll love them. How could she possibly accept and love a kid that isn't hers, that reminds her of your past with me?"

I run a hand through my hair, at a loss. This isn't how I saw this conversation going. I shouldn't have lost my patience with her. If I'd acted the way I always used to with her, I might have gotten her to sign.

"Minji," she says, blinking rapidly, "I... I don't feel well."

She scrunches her brows, and then her body sways. I reach for her and pull her into me just as she faints, her body going slack in my embrace.

"Fuck! Get me a doctor!

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