Me or Her | Bbangsaz

Chapter 45

Minji

I lean back in my chair and grin to myself as I think about Hanni's sleepy smile as I left her in bed this morning. She looked so beautiful and satiated. I'll never get enough of that smile. I'm pretty sure it's seared in my mind for the rest of our lives. I'm making it my personal mission to replicate it every single day from now on, starting right now.

I grab my phone with a wicked smirk on my face, my heart thumping a little faster, a little louder. No one but her has ever had that effect on me. I've never felt so giddy over something so small.

Minji: I miss you already, Cherry.

I hesitate for a moment before I send her the photo I secretly took of her this morning. Her eyes are closed and her hair is spread all over our pillows, her shoulders visible above the sheets. There's a hint of a smile on her face, and something about it seems so perfectly intimate.

Minji: Last night was amazing, but is it crazy that I genuinely believe nothing will ever top waking up with you in my arms?

"Minji?"

I look up at my secretary, mildly annoyed I got caught grinning at my phone like some sappy teenager. For fuck's sake.

"What is it?" I snap.

Yoshi shoots me a tense smile, "Yunjin is here to see you."

Yunjin? What the hell is she doing here? I haven't spoken to her since she came to our house, and a hint of guilt settles deep in my stomach. Sleeping with Hanni marked the end for Yunjin and me. Forever. But then again, we were over long before Hanni walked down that aisle. Part of me knew that, but does she?

"Tell her to leave."

Yoshi hesitates, "She says she's here to discuss the merger."

I lean back in my seat and sigh as I stare up at the ceiling.

"That's bullshit. Her mother has been handling the merger, and there's no way she'd relinquish control to either of her daughters. Not until she formally signs away her shares. Get one of the board members to deal with Yunjin. It doesn't necessarily need to be me she speaks to. You can join their meeting and report back to me. From now on, please minimize my interactions with her if they aren't strictly necessary."

Yoshi nods and turns around, but the door opens before he even reaches it. Yunjin walks in, her signature movie star smile on her face. Not too long ago, that smile would've made me grin at her in return. Now, it just makes me miss Hanni's genuine little smiles, her giggles, her authenticity.

"Minji," she says, walking up to me.

I sigh and dismiss Yoshi with a head gesture. He throws a reassuring smile my way before he bolts out the door, deserting me.

"Yunjin," I say, my tone clipped, "What brings you here today?"

She rolls her eyes and walks around my desk, leaning against the edge of it, "Don't be like that," she pleads, her tone is playful, "You aren't still mad at me, are you?"

I shake my head, "If you aren't here to discuss business, I need to ask you to leave."

"Minji," The remorse in her voice makes me look up, and I instantly feel myself waver when my eyes meet hers. She looks so hurt, so dejected.

"Yunjin," I murmur, "It isn't my intention to hurt you, but I made my boundaries very clear. Things will never be the same again between you and I. There's no going back to what we used to have, and we both know it. We've been in denial, pretending three years would pass and we could just act like they didn't happen at all, picking back up where we left off... but that's not how this works. It isn't that simple. You're nothing more than my wife's sister, Yun. You'll never be more than that. Not ever again."

The torment in her expression hits me right in the heart. Tears fill her eyes, and I look away.

"Minji," she pleads, "Don't say that. It's always been you and me, from the very start. This is just a detour. You're confused because you're living with Hanni. The whole world is seeing this fairytale romance that just doesn't exist. History like ours isn't replaceable, Minji."

She wipes away her tears, but they won't stop falling. It's been years, yet despite our history, I still can't tell if any of her tears are real. They don't hit me the same way Hanni's do.

"Last time I asked, you refused to answer when I asked if you're sleeping with my sister."

I freeze, genuine guilt and shame fighting for dominance over my thoughts. Fuck.

"Are you, Minji?"

I look into her eyes, "Yes," I say simply. There's no point in hiding it. I can't allow her to hang onto even a single shred of hope. Doing so would hurt my wife, and I can't let that happen.

Yunjin's eyes widen a fraction, and something about her expression genuinely guts me. Perhaps none of the tears she's shed so far have been real, but these most certainly are.

"W-what?"

I look away, unable to provide her with the consolation she needs from me. I can't encourage continuous blurring of the lines between us. It isn't fair to Hanni, but it isn't fair to Yunjin either.

"I'm sorry, Yunjin. She's my wife."

She buries her face in her hands, loud sobs tearing through her throat as she falls apart. Once upon a time, I would've been the one to catch her, to hold her. Part of me still wants to do that for her— on account of our shared past, perhaps, but a larger part of me knows that this must end here.

"H-how could you?" The way her voice trembles and catches on the last word is a testament of her devastation, and it kills me that I did this to her. Despite that, I'd rather see tears in her eyes instead of my wife's.

"Yunjin, I'm sorry. You and I both knew we were over the moment you got onto that flight. You knew what the consequences would be, but you were self-centered enough to think you'd get away with it. Yes, it fucking kills me to watch you fall apart, but do you know what hurts even more? The fact that you walked away from everything we could've had. The fact that you're here in my office now, clinging onto something you forced me to let go of. You did this. You destroyed three lives with your actions, and now you're mad that Hanni and I managed to build something with the broken pieces? How is that fair, Yunjin? How is it fair to me? To her?"

She looks at me, and it's as though she's finally really seeing me, hearing me, "Minji," she pleads, "I can't lose you."

I look away and stare out the window instead, my heart hollow, "You already did, Yunjin."

She reaches for me and wraps her hand around my arm, "I fucked up," Her voice breaks, "I fucked up, and I hurt you. I know I did. Please, Minji. I... tell me what to do. Tell me how to salvage what we had. I'll do anything if it'll prove to you how much I love you."

I shake my head, "There's one thing I need you to do for me, Yun," She looks up at me, her eyes sparkling with a hint of hope, "I need you to move on."

She inhales sharply, fresh tears filling her eyes, "You're confused," she says, a vicious streak flashing through her eyes, "Pussy-whipped, perhaps. It's been forever since you had anyone but me, after all. I get it, I do. I can overlook discretions, Minji. I see it around me all the time. I can forgive you for anything, even if she's my sister. I'll let it go. Fuck her for three years straight if you want to, as long as you come back to me. That's all I ask, Minji. Just come back to me, please."

I rise to my feet and take a step away, "I need you to leave, Yunjin. It's what you do best, after all."

She freezes, seemingly in shock. I suppose I've never spoken even remotely harshly to her. I've always known I'd marry her and instantly gave into her, no matter what she wanted or did. I always kept the peace between us. Perhaps that is what made her so convinced she could walk all over Hanni and me the way she did. I'm done indulging her.

"No?" I ask when she stares at me motionlessly, "Then for once, you'll watch me walk out on you. On us. Forever."

I inhale deeply and walk away, letting my office door slam closed behind me.

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