Me or Her | Bbangsaz

Chapter 33 - M

Minji

I scroll through my camera feed, feeling bittersweet. Yunjin always hated taking photos together, so most of them are of her alone. There aren't many of us together, and I can't find a single one of the both of us in which I'm smiling. All of these images look forced, as though I knew she was humoring me by taking a photo with me.

I sigh as I upload all my photos with family and friends to the cloud before navigating to my settings and pausing on the factory reset button. I hesitate for a split second before clicking on it.

A fresh start is what I want. It's what Hanni and I both need, and in real life, we can't have it. We don't have the luxury of giving each other an honest chance without our baggage weighing us down. I thought it'd be painful to erase a part of my life, but the thought of hurting Hanni is more painful. I should've done this long ago.

Things between us have been somewhat odd. We've been pretending that Yunjin isn't a factor, and it worked for us, until it didn't. I've hurt her enough. I can't risk anything on my phone upsetting her. Being reminded of my past with Yunjin is difficult enough for both of us.

I watch as my phone resets and smile to myself as I type in a new password, choosing a combination of Hanni's birthday and our wedding date. Had I known erasing everything would feel so good, I'd have done it long ago.

Hanni walks in to find me grinning at my phone, and her expression falls before she forces a smile onto her face. I watch her carefully as I put my phone down.

"You're home earlier than I expected."

She nods and rubs her shoulder, "I fell on set. My back has been hurting all day, so I figured I'd just work on my designs from home."

I jump to my feet and rush up to her, "You're hurt? How did that happen?"

She smiles and shakes her head, "I was just being clumsy. I've been absent minded all day. This honestly really was all my own fault."

I sigh and place my hands on her shoulders, massaging her gently. I don't even need to guess to know what she's been thinking about. I suppose we couldn't avoid this situation. At some point, we were going to have to face Yunjin and the past I share with her. I just didn't expect myself to have so much clarity when it finally came round to it.

I sigh as I gently brush her hair out of her face, my hand lingering. She's been so distant lately, and I fucking miss her. I cup her cheek gently and lean in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. I haven't dared to kiss her properly since last time, scared that I'm asking for too much, too soon.

"Come on," I tell her, "Take a hot shower to relax your muscles, and then I'll give you a massage."

She hesitates for a moment, but then she nods. She's been especially distant today. Normally, she'd text me at least a handful of times throughout the day, but she hasn't replied to any of my messages. It's like that phone call yesterday made her realize that she and I will never be able to escape the past.

I sigh as I go in search of the oil I know she uses on her body. I need to look into how she got hurt today. I may have to hire a safety coordinator to check every single one of her sets before she gets there.

"Minji?"

I look up to find Hanni standing a few steps away, a white towel wrapped around her.

"Come here," I tell her, patting the bed, "Lie down."

Hanni lies down on her stomach with her towel still wrapped around her, and my heart starts to race. What the fuck was I thinking, offering her a massage? I won't survive having my hands on her body for that long. This was a stupid idea, but that doesn't stop me from reaching for the oil.