It All Started With A Smell

Check Mate Part Two

Although there was something freeing about going off at Sakura, Naruto couldn't deny that their strained relationship was partly her own fault. She hadn't trusted Sakura. Sasuke had known about her gender, could have backed her up when she told Sakura the truth, but instead, she had decided to spring it on her one day and when she reacted violently hid more from her than she had been. The friends Naruto had made in her life were her friends because of who she truly was, not in spite of it, and part of her regretted not giving Sakura the same chance to get to know who she was.

However, there was no denying that Sakura had been a bad teammate and an even worse friend over the years and that was not entirely Naruto's fault. Sakura had done nothing to earn Naruto's honesty. Both of them needed to shoulder the responsibility and the reality that the rift very well could be permanent. Though, it did make her wonder if the rift slowly forming between her and Shikamaru would end up being of a similar nature.

People thought she was oblivious but she was very aware that she had strong, romantic feelings for the Nara. She knew that it was only the hum of his chakra, or the rumble of his rough voice that could both calmed and excited her in a way she couldn't quite explain. He was the only one she had initiated a kiss with instead of having one forced on her by accident or torment. He was also the only one that truly made her feel safe. She didn't pay attention to the chakra's around her as much, didn't jump at any harsh tone, and he was the only one who could be gentle with her without her feeling that he thought her weak. Naruto could tell he wasn't gentle out of concern for her, but that he couldn't bring himself to hurt her at all. She had also noticed the glass-like haze that would shadow his eyes when she was close, or times she was more open with him.

There was something about the look that thrilled her. She had first noticed it, to a small degree, when she had awoken in the hospital and demanded to know how long she had been asleep and if she had missed the Chunin exams. When she had pulled him close by his jacket she had noticed his eyes take on a glazed look as his gaze had fallen to her mouth. It had been a gaze she had never had on her before and hadn't known how to react to it. However, the older they got, and the more she saw said look, the more she had started to enjoy it and had realised what it was when Shikamaru had drunkenly scanned her naked legs. The idea that someone she found handsome, intelligent, and someone to admire being attracted to her had been an experience she had had to get used to. It had taken her over a month to silence the thoughts that told her she was wrong. However, that same voice was able to remind her that Shikamaru was in love with someone else. Even if he found her good looking it would never be more than a physical attraction.

That voice increased in volume after Shikamaru's rejection of her by the lake. It enjoyed pointing out that even physically she wasn't good enough for him. It was this knowledge that encouraged her to spend more time in the room she was meant to be sharing with Ino. She appreciated the other blonde when she made no comment as Naruto crawled into bed the same day she and Shikamaru had had lunch beside the river. Although Ino had clearly had questions, she hadn't voiced any of them in the few days that followed, even when Naruto started binding her chest again whilst still in the Nara Estate.

She didn't mind looking like a boy at times, especially since she didn't really care how people saw her, but she knew that that wasn't why she had taken to binding her chest every day. It gave her a sense of comfort, that Shikamaru couldn't see what she really looked like. It allowed a part of her to believe it wasn't truly her he had rebuffed, but the image she showed people. It did little to truly help the ache she felt but it was something. Whenever she didn't feel like putting binds on she took to staying in her bedroom. Whenever she was in her room she noticed that she gravitated to wearing the number of shirts Shikamaru had given her.

The time in solitude was used to write about the Children of Iron for the historian who wanted to document everything. Naruto knew that many refused to speak to the scholar and although Naruto herself didn't like recounting all that had happened to her she knew it would be better to have it brought to light. She had been writing in the notebook that Shikaku had been kind enough to give her for almost two hours when there was a knock on the bedroom door.