ꜱɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇʟʏ ᴀʟᴀꜱᴛᴏʀ || ʜᴀᴢʙɪɴ ʜᴏᴛᴇʟ

• 3 •

angel's poorly directed porno

Alastor: I AM NOT A CIRCUS. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Vox: You won't let me touch your urine :((

Angel Dust: what.

Vox: I am outside your window Alastor OPEN UP

Alastor: PLEASE DO NOT COME IN I HAVE A GUN. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Vox: I'm into gun play, we can have some fun with the barrel

Alastor: :/ SINCERELY ALASTOR

Angel Dust: HELP HE USED HIS FIRST EMOTICON

Valentino: I feel like a proud father

Vaggie: is no one concerned for alastor's well being as well as ours? if the vees are by the hotel then we have trouble

Lucifer: i simply do not give a shit about alastor

Alastor: AH YES MY GREATEST ENEMY. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Vox: Y-your greatest enemy? :(

Lute: did you just fucking stutter over text

Valentino: M-mommy

Adam: only i can call her mommy

Lute: dude.

Adam: *smooches*

Lute: *shoves away*

Adam: *gets down on all fours and howls at the full moon, turning into a werewolf and eats you*

Lute: *screams in horror as her insides are torn apart by the werewolf*

Adam: *eats the ovaries*

Lute: do i even have ovaries

Adam: let's find out bbg

Lucifer: i threw up a little

Adam: shut up bitch boy

Lucifer: i'll steal your third wife

Adam: nuh uh

Husk: are we just skipping over the werewolf roleplay

Valentino: Angel new porn idea!

Charlie muted Valentino for 24 hours

Charlie: There are children in this chat. :(

Velvette: but the group chat name is about a porno??

Charlie: Why would I mute Angel, he's my best friend?

Vaggie: :(

Charlie: You're my girlfriend silly!

Vaggie: :)

Lucifer: i love gay people

Angel Dust: oh ;)

Lucifer: I AM NOT GAY

Rosie: For real?

Charlie: Are you sure?

Lilith: I'm pretty sure you want a man half the time

Lucifer: lilith :((

Niffty: GAY PEOPLE YAYAYAYYAYAYAYY

Sir Pentious: I'm pretty sure Niffty is the only canonical straight person

Emily: You say canonical like we are fictional?

Sir Pentious: .

Sir Pentious: Anyways :S

Vox: Guys we are over looking the fact that I'm not Alastor's greatest enemy

Rosie: Did you not know that there's several people in front of you?

Vox: WHAT

Rosie: There's Lucifer, Sir Pentious, Camilla, those egg bois, Susan, Husk. He's quite an unlikeable person

Alastor: I JUST DO NOT LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Lucifer: most real thing you've ever said

Alastor: SHUT UP POMERANIAN. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Lucifer: ??? pomeranian?

Alastor: YOU ARE SMALL AND YAPPY. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Lilith: He has a point

Lucifer: lilith why have you forsaken me

Lilith: It's fun

Velvette: alastor can you please answer vox's calls he is currently stabbing your body pillow

Alastor: LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Charlie: Close Alastor! It's LMAO! :D

Vaggie: are we once again over looking the fact vox has an alastor body pillow

Vox: WE COULDVE BEEN SO GOOD TOGETHER WE COULDVE LIVED THIS DANGE FOREVER BUT NOWWWWW WHO IS GOING TO DANCE WITH ME PLEASE STAY

Alastor: I DON'T RECALL DANCING WITH YOU. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Vox: You don't remember us dancing in the office? With my hand sliding up your thigh

Alastor: I THINK YOU MAY HAVE DREAMT THAT. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Velvette: i specifically remember vox waking me up because he had a wet dream

Velvette: valentino can vouch for me

Valentino liked Velvette's message

Velvette: see?

Vox: WHY WOULD YOU BRING THAT UP

Niffty: WHAT IS A WET DREAM??

Alastor: ITS WHERE YOU DREAM OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Rosie: Oh hunny...

Angel Dust: it's where you have a sex dream

Alastor: OH! SINCERELY ALASTOR

Sera: This is a very sinful group chat.

Emily: :o

Charlie: Okay guys let's change the topic now! Reminder that there are young demons/angels in the chat :D

Husk: boooooo it was getting good

Adam: i thought that said boob and was very excited

Charlie: Pervert!

Vaggie: are we blowing over the fact that vox had a WET DREAM about alastor

Vox: Was our dinner date in Cannibal Town also a dream :((

Rosie: Oh no that was real darling

Alastor: I KILLED SOMEONE AND ATE A DISMEMBERED ARM IN FRONT OF YOU WHILE YOU STOOD THERE. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Vox: Hot.

Alastor: NO IT WAS SNOWING. SINCERELY ALASTOR