ꜱɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇʟʏ ᴀʟᴀꜱᴛᴏʀ || ʜᴀᴢʙɪɴ ʜᴏᴛᴇʟ

• 5 •

angel's poorly directed porno

Velvette: YOU THINK YOU THE SHIT BITCH?

Lute: YOU AINT EVEN THE FART

Emily: Stan Twice :D

Velvette: this is ice spice you insufferable twit

Emily: D:

Vox: This overlord meeting is so boring

Valentino: I'd rather count than be in this meeting

Angel Dust: is that because you can't count

Valentino: Now listen here you little shit

Husk: GET EM BAE

Valentino: >:(

Alastor: I HAVE TO SAY, I AGREE WITH THE VEES. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Vox: Poggers

Alastor: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Vox: It means you're in love with me and you will date me and we can have children together and dance in the rain and eat venison together and rule all of hell together

Alastor: I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING WORSE. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Alastor: I WOULD RATHER POGGERS A JAMBALAYA. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Vox: Sigh

Rosie: Guys stop texting Carmilla is staring at you

Velvette: in carmilla's defence, vox is causing the lights to flicker

Valentino: Oh he's leapt across the table

Valentino: Oh he's trying to kiss Alastor

Valentino: Oh Zestial threw him out the window

Rosie: That was entertaining!

Adam: what is vox's issue with alastor aside from wanting to date him

Lute: It seems he wants to do more than date Alastor

Adam: but WHY

Adam: bro looks like he hasn't washed in seven years

Alastor: THAT'S BECAUSE I HAVEN'T. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Adam: gross

Niffty: HE CRIES WHENEVER HE GOES IN THE BATH

Alastor: NUH UH. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Lucifer: ewwwwwwww alastor is a filthy demon

Sera: All demons are filthy.

Lucifer: well this demon is the filthiest

Alastor: STOP CALLING ME FLITHY. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Charlie: I've been trying to get him into the bath for about six months now :/

Vaggie: he just screams and runs to cannibal town

Rosie: Can confirm he does not like baths

Alastor: BESTIE WHY MUST YOU BETRAY ME. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Rosie: Funny

Velvette: ugh zestial and carmilla want to be added

Sir Pentious: Cherri Bomb too :S

Velvette added two contacts to the group chat!

Sir Pentious added Cherri Bomb to the group chat!

Zestial: yippiee

Valentino: What the fuck was that

Zestial: :( thy fucked thy mother

Carmilla: I hope I won't regret asking for this group chat.

Alastor: YOU PROBABLY WILL. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Cherri Bomb: guys a tv just fell from the sky and broke my leg

Sir Pentious: I will save you my dear!!

Cherri Bomb: don't worry it was just vox

Cherri Bomb: he is currently crying about something

Vox: HE WONT LOVE ME

Vox: WHY WON'T HE LOVE ME

Angel Dust: because you're ugly

Vox: I AM NOT UGLY

Valentino: You are a little ugly

Velvette: especially when you cry

Lucifer: it's okay vox, we are all a little ugly on the inside

Vaggie: he's ugly on the outside too

Vox: Guys come on now

Lilith: Send a picture and I'll judge you on smashability

Charlie: MOTHER??? D:

Lucifer: LILITH???

Vox sent an attached photo

Lilith: 10/10

Vox: :D

Lilith: On the how much I want to smash your screen

Vox: Oh

Alastor: L M A O. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Charlie: It's just one word Alastor :)

Vox: Guys this is my thirteenth reason

Vox: I hope you know you are all the reason for my suicide

Alastor: FINALLY. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Velvette: do it no balls

Angel Dust: does he even have balls

Husk: i'll kick em and find out

Valentino: Can confirm he has blue balls

Vox: Just out of spite I will continue to live

Alastor: BOOOO KILL YOURSELF. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Charlie: Step one to redemption is you can't tell people to kill themselves!!

Rosie: Aw Alastor? Redemption? No.

Adam: if he was a game he would be red dead redemption because he's red and dead and redemption

Lute: What.

Adam: idk man i chugged spoilt pineapple juice and my tummy feels funny

Lute: Fucks sake Adam

Emily: I can offer you some tea Adam :D

Adam: offer me some pussy and i'll feel better

Sera: Excuse me?

Adam: not HER pussy, just any pussy

Carmilla: I regret asking for this group chat

Husk: welcome to hell

Vox: I've written my note

Velvette: let me read it

Vox: No

Valentino: I have it

Vox: GIVE IT BACK

Valentino: It says

Valentino: "ONCE CHANCE PLEASE ALASTOR I WILL HAVE YOUR CHILDREN, I WILL HAVE GENDER REASSIGNMENT SURGERY, I WILL GROW BOOBS, I WILL DO ANYTHING TO GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR OFFSPRING"

Cherri Bomb: that's mildly concerning

Vaggie: mildly?

Valentino: "I KNOW YOU WILL NEVER ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM. NO ONE WILL. I WILL FOREVER BE A TV AND I'M SICK OF IT. GOODBYE WORLD. P.S. I WILL BURN THIS NOTE IF ALASTOR AGREES TO GO OUT WITH ME"

Alastor: IF IT HELPS VOX, ITS NOT ME ITS YOU. SINCERELY ALASTOR

Vox: Grabbing the jump cables to send electric currents to my brain so it kills me

Velvette: record it for me

Zestial: thy need therapy