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Part of me doesn't want my loved ones to sit at my funeral and wonder what went wrong.
But a part of me also doesn't want to attend new funerals for myself every single night. To stare at the ceiling all alone and wonder why I am this way.
I miss many things and people in this world, but I miss myself the most out of all of them because I used to be so happy. I was so happy, but now happiness is a foreign term to me as I've forgotten what it feels like.
The truth is, I won't ever try to kill myself again, but I also won't stop the other person from doing so if I were ever in such a situation.
My pain isn't just in my head anymore; it's everywhere.
Pain is common to all; everyone feels it in their lifetime. But why is it that I've been unable to escape it for such a long time? What did I do so wrong that I'm still getting punished?
If I ever hurt you, I'm sorry; it wasn't intentional, I promise. I swear I never meant to hurt you, and if I still did, I'm truly and deeply sorry.
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