Paperclips - YJH

Eleven

6 missed calls from Jeonghan
2 missed video calls from Jeonghan
3 missed calls from Soonyoung
4 new messages from Jeonghan

 I sighed as I threw my phone onto the bed, frustrated that the first thing I have to see when I open my phone in the morning are the people I need to avoid. I lay down on my bed and looked at the ceiling and then the walls. Pictures of my mother and I, my brother and I, and all three of us were hung beautifully on the pale grey walls of my room. The fact that my mother didn't let me return to college for a few days frustrated me even more; I didn't want to spend more time here. 

"What is it?" I was startled by a voice behind me, revealing my brother as I turned around. "Don't you have school?" I asked him tiredly. He just shrugged as he tossed me a bag of dried grapes. "Mom asked me to give you this." I sighed, realising that my brother was now my reluctant messenger between me and our mother. As I took the bag of dried grapes, I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for being so frustrated with my current situation.

"You know, mom's not here at the moment." My brother looked around and whispered, looking at me. As soon as I heard that, I took out my phone and opened chat. He smiled and left the room, closing the door after him. 

Jeonghan: Hey, why aren't you in class??
                       Y/N...???
                       Are you sick
                       Should I come

I sigh as I realise Jeonghan is worried about me skipping class. I quickly type out a response, assuring him that I'm fine and just a little feverish. Jeonghan called me, startling me out of my thoughts. I hated the fact that I was potentially endangering him by still keeping contact with him, but maybe I was too selfish to do anything about it. My fingers hovered over the decline button, but ultimately I couldn't bring myself to cut off our communication completely. I knew I needed to find a balance between taking care of myself and not shutting out those who cared about me.

"Hello?" I murmured as I put the phone to my ear, faking a cough afterwards. I could hear the concern in Jeonghan's voice as he asked how I was feeling, and I knew I needed to come up with a convincing lie to put his mind at ease. Despite my guilt, I couldn't help but feel grateful for his unwavering support. I quickly fabricated a story about a minor cold, hoping he wouldn't catch on to my lie. 

____

That evening, as soon as my mother returned from her company, she sat in the study and called for me. I couldn't shake off the memories of the slap from yesterday; my cheeks were still slightly bruised by it. I take a big breath in, enter the study, and seat myself across from her, like I always do. "I was sceptical about it in the beginning itself." She started talking while going through some papers: "When you wanted to go to that low life college." My head hung low as she continued to express her disappointment in my choices. The guilt weighed heavily on me as I listened silently, knowing that I had let her down.

"But I thought maybe its fine, since you'll be taking over my business anyway." She said. I quickly look up at her, eventhough this was something I've been hearing since childhood, I had never taken it seriously. Her words hit me like a ton of bricks, the realization sinking in that my future had already been decided for me. The pressure to live up to her expectations was suffocating.  

"Mom, I-" I was interrupted as she shot me a glare that silenced me instantly.

"This is your last warning. Don't disappoint me, or I'll do what I did to your older brother." I felt a shiver run down my spine as I remembered what happened to my brother when he didn't meet her expectations. The fear of facing the same fate made me realise the gravity of the situation I was in. The weight of her words hung heavy in the air, crushing any hope I had of breaking free from her control. As I stared at the pile of bricks, I knew that my only choice was to comply with her demands, no matter the cost.
____

Hong Yeejin, my older brother, who is now abandoned by our mother and no one knows where he is or what he is doing. The mistake he made to deserve such a consequence - falling in love with a poor girl.