Paperclips - YJH

Fourteen

"HOW DARE YOU?!" The sound of the hard slap my older brother received on his cheeks echoed through the house as mom stood there, flared in anger. Tears welled up in my brother's eyes as he recoiled from the force of the blow, his hand instinctively reaching up to cover his stinging cheek.

"Mom, believe me, she is—" Another slap echoed through the house.

"YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR YOUR MOM WHO RAISED YOU TILL NOW. CHOOSE." Mom stood there, her eyes blazing with fury, as she waited for my brother's response. Tears welled in my eyes as I stood behind a door and watched through the slight gap, making sure my little younger brother couldn't see what was going on.

I felt my heart break into pieces when my brother kneeled down on the floor before my mother and lowered his head. "Mom, I'm sorry. Let me be with her." He said with tears, "Please."

I could see my mother clenching her fists as she backed away from him, "Never step foot in this house. Ever again." I knew that this was the end of their relationship, and my heart ached for both of them. As my brother left, I could see the pain etched on his face, knowing that things would never be the same. 

____

I woke up, panting heavily from the nightmare I just had. My hair was a sweaty mess. The memories were coming back to me, and it was painful. I couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness as I lay in bed, wishing there was something I could do to mend the broken pieces of our family. The weight of the situation lingered in my mind, leaving me feeling lost and uncertain about the future.

I knew what I had to do in order to not end up like my beloved brother did. I had to reject Jeonghan, and that too in a way that he stays away from me completely. It was heartbreaking to even think about it, and it pained me physically at the thought of being so cruel to him, but I won't let him suffer because of me. That's the last thing I want to happen to him. 

The next day rolled in, and I was seated in a cafe with Jeonghan after our classes. I played with my fingers in anticipation and didn't have the courage to look him in the eye. I knew that looking at him would make it harder to say what needed to be said. Jeonghan finally broke the silence, his voice soft and understanding as he asked, "Is everything okay?" I slowly looked at him, clenching my fists so that I didn't break down in front of him.

"No. Everything is not okay," I started. The words I was about to say were stuck in my throat: "All because of you." Jeonghan's expression turned from concern to confusion as he waited for me to continue. I took a deep breath, trying to continue. I had to put a distance between us.

"I'm moving away. I won't come back; it's my mom's idea." That part was true; my mother somehow came to know about us and decided that it was best if I did my college in LA, away from here. I could see the hurt in his eyes as he processed my words: "I hope that gives you the answers to your question." I whispered, turning away before the tears could fall. As I walked away, I could feel his gaze burning into my back, but I couldn't bring myself to turn around. The weight of my decision rested heavily on my shoulders. As I walked back, all I could think about was one thing: how much I would miss him.

____

Jeonghan froze as he heard that she was moving away. To where? For how long? Why? He had a ton of questions, but he couldn't bring himself to ask her any of them. He thought that their connection was mutual, so why was she doing this? He watched her and searched her eyes for answers. Despite Y/N keeping a calm composure, Jeonghan felt like he saw regret and pain flash across her eyes for a split second. He watched as she stood up and walked away, showing no remorse for him. he couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal as he watched her leave without a backward glance. The pain of her departure lingered long after she was out of sight, leaving him wondering if their connection had ever truly existed. However, no matter how dejected he felt at this moment, he couldn't bring himself to hate her. He couldn't stop thinking that she probably had her reasons. He couldn't believe himself for trying to sympathise with her at this moment, but he couldn't help it.