Paperclips - YJH

Twenty-two

My eyes slowly opened as I struggled to adjust to the bright light filtering in through the window. I could feel my head pounding as I thought about how many bottles I drank last night. I tried to piece together the events of the previous evening, but everything was a blur. The realisation that I had confessed my feelings to him hit me like a tonne of bricks.

—Last night—

"Because... I liked you too." I looked down at my trembling hands, refusing to look at Jeonghan. The silence between us was disrupted by a few hiccups from me, probably due to drinking so much.

"What?" He mumbled softly, but loud enough for me to hear. I could feel my cheeks flushing as I finally mustered the courage to meet his gaze. The vulnerability in his eyes mirrored my own, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still as we both processed the weight of our words.

"You know, when I came back to Korea, the first thought I had was if I would see you again, and guess what! I came to know that we'd be working together!" I mumbled on, having the confidence to confess only because I drowned myself in alcohol a few moments ago. "Maybe," I grabbed another bottle and opened it before pouring myself a glass. "I missed you." I felt my cheeks burn as I muttered it out, I looked down and tried to hide my embarrassment by taking a sip of the drink.

"...what?" His words echoed through my apartment, leaving me frozen in place. I took a deep breath— a loud one as I lifted my head to meet his gaze, as I started giggling.

Confusion was written all over his face as he watched me raise my hands and hug myself while smiling. "Wow," I said, closing my eyes as I took another deep breath, "I've been wanting to say that for so long!"

 I saw him softly smile before he reached in and took the bottle from my hands, setting it aside, "You're so drunk." He chuckled as he watched me sway due to the lack of balance.

"No! Just— a bit?" I giggled, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief at finally getting my feelings out in the open. "But it's all true," I added, trying to lean in and get the bottle he took out of my grasp, to which he hissed and put the bottle further away from me. "You should rest."

I nodded my head gently as I closed my eyes and let myself fall back to the couch. "Let's get you to bed." I heard him say before I drifted off into a peaceful sleep. 

—Present time—

My eyes widen as I groan, remembering everything. The thought that I confessed to having feelings for Jeonghan was unexpected. I never thought about it before, so why did I confess? Or was I just confused? As I try to piece together the events of the previous night, a sense of unease settles in my stomach. Did I really mean what I said, or was it just a moment of vulnerability?

Embarrassment crawled up my spine as I recalled my words, wondering how I would face Jeonghan now. I looked at the time and mentally curse myself as I stood up and headed to the bathroom to get ready for work. The thought of seeing Jeonghan at work made me nervous, unsure of how to act around him after my unexpected confession. I hoped that the awkwardness would eventually fade, but for now, I had to focus on getting through the day without any more embarrassing moments. 
____

"Good morning, Y/N!" Mr. Lee greeted me with a big smile as I stepped into the meeting room, files in hand. I gave him a small, forced smile, greeting him back.

I took my seat next to Mr. Lee as we got ready for the meeting to discuss our upcoming project. I still had the headache from yesterday, but it was much better than how it was in the morning, so it was easy to ignore it as I worked. However, I couldn't help but rub my forehead and sigh a few times as I reviewed the project details. I had noticed Mr. Lee eyeing me a few times, and after what felt like the hundredth time of rubbing my forehead, he held my hands before I could rub my forehead again.

"Headache? Don't keep rubbing it. You'll feel worse." He looked at me with a concerned expression while holding my hands in his. I quickly retreated my hand from his grasp as I coughed, "I'm fine. I just—"

"Do you want some painkillers?" He asked me, about to stand up. This seemed to grab everyone's attention in the meeting room. I looked around, feeling awkward and embarrassed. I met Jeonghan's gaze, his expression didn't look that good. He looked pissed and concerned at the same time. I quickly turned back to Mr. Lee, who was about to leave the room, "No, no need for painkillers, I'm okay."

Mr. Lee gave me a disapproving look as he walked towards me, grabbed my hand, and made me stand up. Words were caught in my throat as I processed the situation. Confusion and embarrassment washed over me as he sent me out of the meeting room with a small smile. "Go get some fresh air. I'll manage it here." He led me to the door and gently pushed me out, leaving me standing in the hallway feeling slightly dazed. I took a deep breath and tried to shake off the discomfort I was feeling.

Knowing that I couldn't go back in there without Mr. Lee making another scene, I sighed as I watched into the meeting room from outside through the small gaps in the window. My eyes unknowingly fell on Jeonghan, who was focused on whatever the staff was saying with a pen spinning in his fingers, just like he used to do in college. I caught myself staring at how the strands of his hair fell onto his face and how handsome he looked just on a regular day. Before I knew it, I was smiling. He looked around, and soon enough, his eyes met mine through the window. My eyes widened, realising I had been caught. I felt my cheeks flush as I instantly turned around and rushed to the rooftop, hoping to get some fresh air, just like Mr. Lee said.

I leaned against the railing of the rooftop, watching as cars passed by below, trying to calm my racing heart. The cool breeze helped to clear my mind, and I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the thoughts I was having.

A familiar voice interrupted my peaceful time. "What are you doing?" I turned back to see Jeonghan standing there with his hands in his pockets.

"Uh— getting some fresh air. What are you doing here?" I stammered out, cursing myself for sounding like a fool afterwards.
He softly nodded as he watched me. "You drank a lot last night. That's probably why you have a headache." I quickly turned my head towards him, reminded of the confession and how I made a fool of myself.

"Last night... nothing happened, right?" I said it carefully, watching his reaction. Jeonghan chuckled softly, shaking his head. "No, nothing happened. You just had a bit too much to drink." I let out a sigh of relief, grateful that my embarrassing behavior hadn't led to any regrets.

"Are we good now?" I asked, thinking about the fact he was being friendly just now, instead of cursing me out like he did all these weeks.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm sorry, I was mean to you." I smiled, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders as I realised our friendship was still intact. "It's okay," I replied, relieved that we could put the incident behind us.
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—Last night Jeonghan POV—

I watched as Y/N fell asleep on the couch. A small chuckle esaped my lips as I saw her mumble something in her sleep, still drunk. "Let's get you to bed." I carefully lifted her up, making sure I wasn't hurting her or waking her up. As I held her in my arms, I felt my heart race due to the closeness. I mentally cursed myself for feeling like my 19 year old self again, who was in love with her.

I gently placed her on the bed and tucked her in. I turned off the lights after placing a glass of water on the bedside table for her in case she woke up thirsty. I stood there for a moment, watching her peaceful expression as she slept. The memories of our past flooded back, but I pushed them aside, knowing it wasn't that easy anymore.

"You're such trouble." I mumbled before leaving the room and closing the door after me. I sighed as I got into my car. I had promised myself to never be involved with her again in the past, but look where I am now. However, a small smile crept up my face as I thought of what she said to me a while ago, "I missed you."

I smiled, "I missed you too." I let out my feelings inside the empty car. I knew deep down that getting involved with her again would only lead to more heartache, but the pull of our history was too strong to resist. As I drove away, I couldn't shake the feeling that this time might be different, even if we were just going to be friends.