Imperfections

Part 3

Jade

Dread became the third passenger, it filled the car with eerie silence, my heart became a shade of dark gray, there was no right word to break the silence, and there wasn't anything me or Dion could say to bring even the slightest moment of normalcy. Babe, I know it's not a good time to ask but are you hungry? Dion asked while placing his hand on my lap. He took a glance at me and right back to the road, The thought of food seemed foolish, how could I eat when my friend had passed, glancing up at Dion I shook my head, I can't eat, not at a time like this, I can't stop thinking about who could have hurt Blair, can you? I asked Dion, still focused on the road he responded, Jade I don't know what you want me to say, there are no right words, but Blair wouldn't want you to neglect your needs. I couldn't believe he just said that, how would he have the slightest idea of what Blair would want for me I thought to myself, I wanted to agree with him, but he didn't care about Blair like I did, Dion You didn't know her like I did, I said, while shifting my body away from him and now facing the window. 

I had been at Blair's all evening, I wanted to go home, I didn't want to exist in moments where Blair wasn't a part of those moments, A lump began to form in my throat and tears began to get comfortable in the corners of my eyes. I shifted back to sit correctly in the seat placed my hands over my face and began to sob, I can only picture this moment as heartbreaking for anyone to witness, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Glancing over at Dion who was now reaching around the center console with one hand, pulled out some tissue and handed it to me, a headache began to make its presence known and all I wanted was to get home. Don't let me stop you from eating baby I told Dion, if you're hungry grab food, and worse case I'll eat whatever is at home. Suddenly my lips parted open, I forgot about the get-together. I hadn't told anyone what had happened, and I didn't know who had been there. Picking up my cellphone I had missed calls and text messages, it was clear that the news of Blair was now a local article, free for anyone to make judgments and come up with their sick scenarios as to what happened as if they fucking knew Blair. I'm taken aback by the tragedy, Jade I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend, please accept my condolences, she was a great person, these were all common messages, some I felt weren't even genuine.

Welcome to Dixon's Burger & Tenders how may I take your order? greeted the cashier. To be sitting in a drive-thru felt horrible, my heart ached that normality still went on despite the tragedies that occurred every day. Dion ordered his food, the same order he'd kept for years, A great Dixon, patty of ground beef grilled and placed between two halves of a soft bun. Slices of raw onion, lettuce, bacon, cheese and mayonnaise. A side of crazy cheese fries and a sweet tea. I turned to look at him after he ordered, my eyes I'm sure were red, he looked back at me with eyes that filled with emptiness and a slight bit of empathy. Despite my not having an appetite, one sniff of the food in Dion's bag had my stomach begging for food but mentally I couldn't take one bite of anything.

The ride back home was quick, the traffic normally slowed down towards the end of the evening, and getting down the highway was a breeze, pulling into the driveway, I was surprised to see no one was there. Hearing Dion move the gear shift to park, I turned to him and shared my concern, Babe I am surprised that no one is here , I expected a few to want to sit and talk, attempt to wrap our heads around who could have hurt Blair, I spoke to everyone before I came and got you Dion replied while grabbing his food in one hand and drink in the other, closing the door with the side of his hip, I got out the car and then followed as he continued, I knew that you needed quiet and not chaos in a time like this so I asked everyone to leave. I didn't have the words to say back, I just nodded my head.

 Me and Dion went our separate ways, when we entered our home, Dion headed to the dining area, hurriedly unpacking his dinner for the evening. I hope he loves Dixon's Burgers and Tenders as much as he claims because the nights of me cooking regularly have now ended. Grief has taken over our home quickly. The hallway to the bedroom felt longer, I dragged my feet, and every step I took felt heavy, the day had drained me. Opening my room door my eyes immediately look towards the black sweetheart neckline dress, clear heels that I impulsively bought from the beauty supply store a couple of weeks prior and gold jewelry to be paired with the dress, I would never feel comfortable wearing the dress, or the heels the attachment to the items would now be a loss, and questions of what could have been if the party had taken place, would Blair still have died with such brutality? Today was not supposed to end like this.

Dion
I knew that eating dinner around Jade wasn't the most appropriate thing to do so I felt relieved when she walked into the room so I could enjoy the burger by myself. The meal was delicious, collecting my trash I got rid of it in the holder we kept below the sink. As I began to rub the sanitizer on my hand a quick sting pierced my hand. A small cut became clear, deep, and wide enough to create a small traceable size of blood, I can't believe I didn't notice this all day, amid my stabbing Blair the blade must have nipped me, fuck, fuck I tried to erupt as quietly as possible!! My heart started pounding. What would have happened if Jade noticed this or worse my blood could have mixed with Blair's, and my DNA was left at the scene. Stupid mistake. I am not a man who panics, but in this moment, how could I not, the best thing I can do moving forward is support Jade and listen to her rant about the case all while paying close attention to every detail of developments in the case.