THIRTEEN

19 2 6
                                    

WEAKNESS

Y/n

At night comes I can't sleep. I'm in the verge between conscious and unconscious. Every word that ever come out of my mouth was what I really feel toward him. I left a place deep inside my heart for him to stay. I was too afraid to admit it, or I never had audacity to admit it at all because I'm married. That space in between was also biased. I doubt myself, my husband, and Jungkook is now in my house sleeping on the guest room once again. Only this time, my husband give him permission. This sounds so wrong, yet so right.

I tossed the blanket and slowly, carefully, waking up from the bed. Walking solely to my daughter's room. I need someone to hug to close my eyes. And Taena is my only choice. She's my entire life, my air for breathe, I needed her.

Opening her room door, I try my best not to make too much noise. She's sleeping with her back facing me. Her body move up and down slowly as she breathes. Hugging her pink bunny plushy. I smile at my little baby whom soon to be a big sister. I decided not to bother her and just went to the library. My favorite place of healing.

It's still 10 pm. In Paris is still early in the morning. I read my phone to see if I received any updates from my husband, he sent me his topless pic wearing his glasses. I smile and reply to his text.

<hot 😻 ur awake in this early morning?>

<I missed u, how r u?>

<good>

<why ain't u sleep?>

<I can't>

I didn't get an answer from him after that, he calls me and I pick up.

"Hey." Hearing his voice was a medicine.

"Did you just working out?"

"Yeah, I had a early leave for the show, why you still awake, babe?"

"I can't sleep."

"Did you had that dream again?"

"No, but I was anxious."

I hear him sighed. Maybe regretting his decision.

"I'll be back soon."

"You need to focus on the work, don't worry too much." I feel upset when I told him this.

The time when he decided to leave me when I needed him was just wrong, I learned how to manage my panic on my own the way he teach me to be independent.

"Don't be mad, my love," he sense it.

"I'm not mad, maybe it was too late and there's no need to be mad at all."

"Peanut, please."

"What?" I don't want to argue otherwise he will lost all of his focus.

"I love you." I tell him first and I heartless him breathe calmly.

"I love you most, baby." He would have devour me if he is in present right now, but he is not, so I calmly and smile a little.

"Try to rest, where are you now?"

"Library. I'll read some times and I may fall a sleep. Good luck for the show."

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