Faking

Chapter 31

The whole night was perfect. I ate nonstop while Grayson just stared at me amusedly.

He would often say, "I don't know how you stay that thin when you eat this much."

I just playfully glared at him and ignored him.

We talked a lot for the rest of the night and I felt like I was getting closer to Grayson. We haven't talked this much in a long time and it felt really nice.

I finally understood the real him. We would always just joke around, but now we actually talked about serious things like about his own family.

I asked him, "Uhm, I never heard about your family problems from directly you.." I didn't really know how to start this conversation.

Grayson sighed.

I looked away and said, "You don't have to tell me. It's your family's problem and I shouldn't force you to do anything you don't want to."

He sighed again and pulled my chin lightly to face him.

He said, "No, you deserve to know and my business is yours too."

I smiled encouragingly and showed an expression that told him to continue.

He started, "I.. I was never close to my father. He never showed much emotions or feelings towards me. All he cared about was how perfect I could be. He would punish me frequently if I didn't listen to him. Even though he hurt me mentally with his words, he never hurt me physically. I was hurt by how rough and harsh his words were. It cut like bare, rough knifes being struck through me. My mom was very unlike him. They were polar opposites, she was very caring and kind. She understood me and played with me all the time. She tried to fill up the spaces that my father missed."

I nodded waiting for him to go on.

He continued, "One day, I was sick of my father's want or need for me to be perfect. I got so furious that I ran out of the house. I went to Tristan and just told him my frustrations. I wasn't perfect. Yeah, I had good grades and all but I could feel how my father wanted more. No mistakes. I actually tried to be the best, but I always seemed to make my father mad. Due to all this stress, I ran out. My mom.. she.. looked for me late at night. Since my father didn't help her, she did all on her own. I was out with Tristan and I heard her call my name. I turned around and saw her die with my own eyes. She was walking towards me! I saw her die and I couldn't do anything. I was about to run over to stop the truck but it was useless. She died right at the sight. She didn't even make it to the hospital.."

I moved closer towards Grayson and hugged him by wrapping my arms tightly around him. He leaned into the touch and breathed heavily.

He pulled back a bit and said, "After my mom's funeral, my father and I drifted off more. Even though my father seemed to hate me, he really loved my mom a lot. She was his everything. I even saw him cry for the first time due to her death. I felt crushed, I could never be perfect. Afterwards, I turned cold and didn't talk to people. This was a real mistake because I just applied to schools that had dorms so I could stay away. I didn't see my father for awhile and soon, I found my father married. I was furious! He didn't even tell me and how could he do that when my mom died only a year ago!"

I tried calming Grayson but it was a futile attempt.

He sighed heavily and said, "The woman he married was evil. She only wanted my father's money and and.. he knew! He just thought that I would be happy if I had another mother figure. I finally understood how my father wanted me to be happy. He felt sorry but he didn't know how to act towards me. I thought he blamed me like I did towards myself. But, he didn't. I didn't know what to do either. I just drifted off more and closed off towards everyone. Even my friends like Tristan. I just didn't care anymore."

I was at a loss of words because I didn't know how he felt until now. I just wanted to get rid of all his painful past.

He looked over at me and suddenly rubbed his thumb under my eyes. I finally noticed that I have been crying and I didn't even notice until now.

He said, "After all the closing up, I think I just felt like I was going to live like this forever. But then, you came to me. You just bumped into me on the first day and I found you annoying at first. You were faking yourself and I hated people who act. They are not the real them. As time went on, I seemed to open up and you were like a bright light in my dark tunnel. You started to break open my tunnel slowly and showed me how to love and feel again. Madison, I care about you more than anything. I love you."

Tears were flowing out of my eyes trying to produce the Atlantic Ocean. I tried to talk, but words seemed to be jumbled up whenever I tried.

Grayson pulled me to him and said, "You don't need to feel the same way because I have been only a jerk to you."

I shook my head fervently and pulled back. Words finally came out of my mouth.

I shouted, "NO! Grayson, no! I care about you too. More than anything. I didn't understand my own feelings for you at first, but now I finally understand. I love you. You mean so much to me and I love you more."

He smiled and said, "I don't think your love can ever beat mine."

I frowned and said, "No."

He said, "Yes"

"No."

"Yes."

I was about to say no again when his soft, warm lips crushed onto mine.

I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck and responded back heatedly. We kept on kissing each other and this kiss made me feel different. I could feel how much he was trying to tell me he loved me more than I did. He attempted to put all of our happy memories into one and it just made me smile during our kiss. The tought of him trying to prove his more love towards me seemed to begin my competitiveness and I started kissing him back more. I gently pulled his bottom lip towards me and pushed myself closer to him. This seemed a bit impossible because we were already close enough. He seemed to groan into my mouth due to this unexpected action and that sound just made me whimper.

He pushed me back gently onto my back of the couch and he put his forehead on top of mine.

He said, "You have no idea how much you affect me, Madison."

I sighed and said, "I love you, Grayson."

"I love you more, Madison."