𝐑𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 | 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐬

𝟑𝟖 | 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞

We all went our separate ways after we realised our unfinished business would remain unfinished. The guys were already devastated about not playing the Orpheum that night, and this only put salt in the wound. I had always wanted to be a live sound engineer in such a venue, but I never got the chance. None of us would ever get the chance.

Luke was sadly plucking at his guitar when I returned to the garage. In fact, he wasn't even playing - he was just pulling at the strings and staring at the wall.

"I think that's your next hit," I joked as I sat down next to him.

"Yeah," Luke sat up and put down his guitar. "Not quite."

"Hey," I gave him a small nudge. "It's gonna be okay."

"It's not though, is it Ruth?" Luke retorted. "We're all screwed."

"Yeah, well," I stood up and shrugged. "What else am I supposed to say, Luke? It was nice knowing you? We had a good run?"

"We're all going to cease to exist!" Luke stood up as he snapped. "There's literally nothing you can say!"

I nodded, not breaking eye-contact. "Alright, I guess I'll just stop talking then."

———

I left the garage and reappeared at the old treehouse. When I went inside, I kicked over one the chairs, only to see my notebook hidden behind it. Luke must have put it back. I picked it up and flicked through the pages, everything was the same as when I last saw it. Only this time, I made it to the very back page.

Whatever happens, catch that feeling!

Rose :)

I tried to bite back the tears as that day came to the front of my mind.

———

"So," Rose caught up to me after first period. I was late, she was early. "Did you try it? How'd it go?"

I stopped in the middle of the hall and shrugged. "I don't know, Rose. I don't think it's my thing."

"So you did try it then," A smirk formed on Rose's face. "Let's see it!"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, but not here."

I pointed in the direction of the empty music room. Mr. Johnson's English class would have to wait, which kind of sucked because it was the only class I liked - aside from music, of course.

We sat down at the piano and I placed my notebook on top. It was almost brand new back then, only a few pages were used and even they only had reminders and shopping lists on them. I flicked through the pages until I got to Edge Of Great.

Rose read through the lyrics and nodded her head. "This is really good. Does it have a melody?"

"It did," I raised my hands and shrugged. "But I forgot it."

Rose laughed. "How could you forget it?"

"I don't know, I was trying to focus on the words and then poof."

"Well, that's alright. It'll come back to you," Rose chuckled. "But how did it feel writing it?"

"I don't know," I said for the hundredth time, but this time I did know. I smiled a little. "I just had a that feeling."

Rose nodded mockingly. "Uh-huh, yeah. Very descriptive."

"Stop," I shoved her playfully as we laughed. "You know what I mean. You do this all the time."

"I do know what you mean," Rose smiled. "That feeling is the best feeling."

"I get why you do it now," I said. "It's weirdly therapeutic. Like, no matter what happens it can help you comprehend what's going on around you."

"Exactly," Rose smiled because when wasn't she smiling? "And it can help you too."

"Maybe," I shrugged noncommittally.

Rose flicked to the back of the notebook and started scribbling.

"Did I inspire you, or something?" I teased.

"Nope," Rose said, closing the notebook and sliding it over to me. "I think you should keep writing - even if it's not songs. You've got something special, Ruth."

After that, we left the music room and headed to English class. Mr. Johnson gave us detention for being late, but I didn't regret anything. When I opened my notebook later on that evening, I read the note Rose had left me and I couldn't help but smile.

———

Past me smiled, but future me cried. I missed Rose. I missed my life - no - I missed being alive. With her. We were inseparable. I hated that we were both dead but somehow separated. Rose was gone, but I was still ... whatever I was. It wasn't right.

As I stood there, in that abandoned treehouse, I heard the birds start to chirp outside. It reminded me that although I wasn't exactly alive, I could still experience elements of life. I could still wander the earth. I had to do the not-quite-living for both of us.

In that moment, I decided to do something I hadn't done in a while.

I decided to catch that feeling.