Love full of secrets //ft. Pedri Gonzalez

Chapter 28 ~ Christmas

We are meant to be, I'm sure. The connection we feel every time we are together, it is such a strange but also such a special feeling. I really never want to lose her, and I mean never... I can't even survive for 1 week... I feel so hopeless and lost.

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POV Yoana:

We are all sitting at the table, everyone is talking and eating. The only one I'm talking to is Delfi, we are the only girls here. I'm 18 and she's 13 but it doesn't matter. She is a really nice person to talk to, we grew up together. Because our dads are best friends. "Well guys, shall we open the presents?" My father asks, all the children start running towards it. We all walk to the living room and everyone takes a seat. The little ones hand out the gifts, I have 2 so far and Delfi seems to have too. But there's another one under the tree... Pedri's... Mateo picks it up, "is Pedri here? Is he really here??? Yanaaa!" My brother shouts, everyone looks in my direction. I look down, I don't know what to say. But Delfi already stands up for me, "Mateo just leave it there, Pedri will come open it another time." Mateo does as she says and quickly returns to his gifts. I feel so guilty, not only did I hurt my friends but also my brothers. They are big fans of him, I couldn't stand the disappointment in his eyes. "Thanks Delfi." I whisper, "No problem Yana, but you have a lot to tell me." I nod, I really have to tell her a lot, yeah..

Everyone starts opening their presents, the children immediately start screaming and playing with them. I unwrap my gift and it is a book, it's white and my whole name is written on the front in elegant letters. It's also quite thick, I open it and see: memories. I turn the first page and all kinds of nice photos are in it, I go through the entire book. I come across all kinds of things, photos from when I was little, with my parents, my brothers, my family, with Gavi, my friends and even Pedri... I look at the photo of us together and feel my tears coming up again. But the book suddenly closes, I look to my left and see Delfi looking at me worriedly. "Yana, this can't continue like this. Should we go upstairs?" I wipe away a few small tears, "okay." We walk to my room and I lie down on my bed. I stare at the ceiling, "Yana I think you have love problems and if so then there is nothing else to do. You have to fight for love if you are sure that he is the one then you have to fight for it Yana, you can't do nothing. Fight for him Yana, go to him, talk to him."

I listen to everything she says, I know she's right but I'm just scared. I'm the one who screwed up not him, I'm the one who broke him and everyone around us. There is a big chance that he doesn't want anything to do with me and that he doesn't even like me anymore.. "Delfi, I'm just scared, I cheated on him. That's the worst thing you can do and why would he still love me after everything I've done." "Yana, if he loves you so much he would want you back in 1 second and I'm sure he misses you. He loves you, you two are made for each other." "How can you be so sure about this?" She starts laughing, "I have my contacts, oh and you must know something. You are his first love." After those words she gets up from the couch and walks out of my room. You are his first love, those words run through my head. Is that really true? Am I really his first love? I don't dare to believe it, Pedri Gonzalez has never had experienced anything with love? There are now more question marks running through my head, so I decide to call Gavi. I pick up my phone and look for his name in my contacts, I press the call button and to my surprise he answers right away.

"Hey Yana, how are you? Is everything okay?" Gavi asks, "Yes, it could be better, I would say. But um, I have a question." "Oh tell me." I take a deep breath, "Is Pedri home? And is it true that I am his very first love?" It remains quiet on the other side, "um Yana, how do you know this.." Now am I quiet, I don't even know how Delfi found out about this. But I'm not going to lie anymore, that makes it even worse and that has become very clear. "Delfi.. what do you mean?" "Damn it Delfi, but eh that's true yes. Yana promise me that you don't want to be back with him because you just found out that you are his first love." "Gav, I swear on my life. You know how much I love him, I'm so broken and Delfi gave me a little pep talk. About if you love someone that you have to fight for him and show that you love that person with your whole life." "Wow, she's only 13 but she can already give such good advice." "Yes, I thought exactly the same, but is Pedri home?" "Oh eh, no, sorry, he just left for his family in Tenerife. He is going to celebrate Christmas there tomorrow, I forgot to tell you, sorry." All the confidence I had just disappeared, I had hoped so much that I would be able to see him today and that everything would be fine. But I just have to be patient, "oh okay, just text me when he gets home." "I will, Yana, see you tomorrow." "See you tomorrow." We hang up and I put my phone aside. Yes, you heard it right, I'm going to Gavi tomorrow. We're just going to spend a nice day celebrating Christmas with friends, so apparently Pedri won't be there.

I pick up the book I was given and start going through it again. I only now discovered that only half of it is full of photos. The other half of the book is still empty, I think so I can put some things in it myself. I turn all the way to the last pages and come across little texts there. Not just any texts, they are from all the people who are also on the photos in this book. This is so sweet! I read through them all, some have written down nice moments or just sweet texts. What is special is that Gavi has the longest text, I actually didn't expect that haha. I read the last text, it is from none other than Pedri...

Dear Yana,

Let's start with the fact that you are the love of my life, who would have thought that. Yoana who conquered my heart, I will never forget our first meeting. I remember so clearly how I hated you so much, but apparently love does make wonders. Everything that irritated me about you, is what I like and love the most about you now, I know it sounds a bit negative, but I really don't mean it that way. I love you Yana, I really see a future with you and I hope I can be by your side every day and always support and help you when you need it. I want to take care of you and love you for the rest of my life, I hope our love lasts forever. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. Your face, your smile, your body, your personality, everything is perfect about you. You are and will always be my mouse. Ps: I'm bad at writing texts so hopefully this text is good :)

The love of your life,
Pedri