Crushing College

9

Dear Miss Jennie Kimmel,

We are pleased to inform you that we have located your birth parents upon your request. We have access to their contact information and address. As you know, your birth parents must respond that they are interested in contacting you. With their approval, identifying information will be released. We will wait for their response and keep you updated.

Sincerely, 

KAS

Korean Adoption Agency

My heart beat fast from the exciting news found in the email. I couldn't wait to tell Lisa and Tae...and Kai of course. I burst into his room after classes were done and found him sitting at his desk, concentrating unusually hard on the words in front of him. 

"They found my parents," I announced, standing in the doorway.

Kai lifted his head, confusion washing over his face for a second before his mouth formed an "o." "That's great, noona," he managed after realizing what I was talking about.

"Yeah, I just got an email from KAS," I started as I plopped down on his bed, my backpack landing by my feet with a thud. "Wanna hear something crazy? I think I'll fly to Korea over spring break. Just in case they want to meet me, I'll be there to cut down the wait time."

"Why do you want to meet them?" he asked, tilting his head quizzically.

"I'm hoping we can establish a relationship. With my dad gone..." I let my words trail off. Kai nodded quickly before bringing his eyes down to his book again. "Kai?" I was too excited to study math together like we usually did. "Can you teach me Korean?"

He sighed heavily and gave me a side-eyed look. "Yes. But you can also learn on a language app like Duolingo."

Disappointed in his lack of enthusiasm, I grumbled and decided to take out my biology book to start reading. Though I couldn't concentrate on the text anyway. Over the next hour, we sat there with me asking him a few questions about his day, bombarding him for touristy information about South Korea, and him only speaking when spoken to. Even though there were two people in the room, he made me feel like there was only one.

"What's wrong?" I finally asked. "You're quieter than usual."

"I don't know." Kai took his eyes off the paper and stared at me with a serious look I had never seen before. "Sometimes I do not know what you think of me. I want you to do more but you do not seem to have much interest in me. You confuse me."

"What? Where is this coming from? I told you that I love you," I threw back at him.

"I do not know if this is what you really want."

"Is this what you really want?" I challenged.

He paused for a fraction of a second. "Yes."

"You hesitated!" Sitting up straight, I pointed at him for emphasis. I was taken aback by his accusations but at the same time pleased that he cared enough to bring up the topic.

"Oh..." Kai glanced down then his dark brown eyes were on me again. "I think you and I are good for each other. We have potential to keep going. Right now I want you and I to be together, but then I wonder what you think of me. What do you want? I like seeing you happy."

My eyes circled the room, confused at his change in attitude. "Maybe I don't always show it but I love you. We spend almost every day together. That's gotta mean something."

"I just don't want to be the one doing everything in this relationship." Kai turned back to his book, his head resting on the palm of his hand. I wanted to hug him, give him a physical sign, but I thought it might seem forced. We sat there uncomfortably for a few minutes.