Crushing College

14🎇

At the Korean Adoption Services, Tae's rising voice and the office worker's determination to explain themselves were all white noise to me. I couldn't concentrate let alone follow the conversation in Korean. From what I gathered the agency was trying to find the employee who handled my adoption case. Simultaneously, an older man appeared from the back of the office and my "parents" entered the lobby. 

Eyes trained on the couple, my natural instinct to be joyful was crushed. The cheerful spark that appeared the other day died. The dark night of not knowing who I came from closed upon me.

"Annyeonghaseyo, Haeyoon!" Jisung and Mirae greeted me cheerfully. 

My shoulders dropped at their deceitful demeanor. Tae and I just stared at them, open mouthed, unable to even exclaim a greeting or bow respectfully. When they gave us both hugs, my body went limp and I forced a smile. A small bouquet of white daises appeared in front of me and I hiccupped through the tears that were forming.

"What's wrong?" Mirae asked, still holding the flowers for me to take.

"You owe her an apology," Tae demanded, hands folded in front of him, thumbing his wristwatch vigorously.

Mr. Park, the KAS employee, spoke up. "Mr. and Mrs. Jeon you need to explain yourselves to Miss Kimmel."

Jisung's eyebrows furrowed in irritation. "Well, you helped us!"

"In our defense, we didn't know what else to do," Mirae defended, her voice high-pitched.

That was all they had to say to prove Tae was right. He bombarded them with questions and the small group of us stood in the lobby waiting for answers. Apparently what Jisung and Mirae told us about themselves was all true. They did have a student/teacher relationship and got married after she graduated. Except, they didn't have me. 

"You were found in front of the school offices one day in a baby carriage. Nobody knew how you got there. You were only a few months old," Mirae explained. 

"We thought keeping you would help with relations between our families. So we raised you for a few months," Jisung continued.

"We really were your parents for a short time," Mirae said, reaching out to touch my arm which I retracted quickly. 

"Then I was diagnosed with cancer and our relatives pressured us to give you up for adoption through an official agency."

With an apologetic tone, that's when Mr. Park expounded on the story. Since I was never registered as a baby, he created a birth certificate for me so the system would look legitimate. A year later, my parents, Mr. and Mrs. Kimmel, flew to South Korea and adopted me.

"We are sorry we lied to you," Jisung confessed, his eyes downturned. Mr. Park nodded in agreement, staying silent, as if he didn't want to admit fault out loud.

"Please forgive us," Mirae said, pleading with her eyes. She still had the bouquet of daises in her hand. 

Tae pointed at Mr. Park for emphasis. "You should have told Jennie the truth as soon as she contacted this adoption agency. This is all your fault!" raising his voice. Then he turned to the couple and continued the blame. "And you two...why did you agree to meet with Jennie in the first place? We flew all the way from America!"

Guilt was written all over their faces but they didn't have an answer. "We warn everyone looking for their birth parents, you have to have the maturity to manage the various and potentially complicated outcomes that could result from a search," Mr. Park said in defense.

"She is mature and she didn't do anything wrong," Tae reprimanded, being strong enough for the both of us. 

With a heavy heart, I stared at the floor wishing I had never come to South Korea. "So no one knows who left me at the school?" I asked, a numbing sadness in my voice. Looking up, the faces in front of me shook their heads as Tae reached over to take my hand in his and give me a comforting squeeze.