Helena: A Gerard Way Fanfic

I'm Really Not Okay Chapter One

Helena's POV

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Bee---

I groaned and sat up. Another day not worth living. My eyes traveled to the cuts from last night. They were red and when I was gonna shower, they were gonna hurt like a bitch. Maybe I should just skip school. But how would I be able to explain that to Robin. Robin is my guardian from when my parents died. Since I was 11. Robin is 27 years old and she is pretty cool. She's probably my only friend. And I would die if she found out I cut. Hey, that wouldn't be as half bad! I sighed and trudged to the shower turning it on. I slowly placed my hand under the water and bit my lip from yelping. I let the water soothe in then left the shower. I dried off and put on the school's uniform which contained, a tie, white button up, a skirt, knee high white or black socks and any shoes. I went with black socks and black Converse as always.

I applied my makeup which was heavy eyeliner and black eye shadow. I looked at my face. I was really pale and my green eyes stuck out. There was dark bags under my eyes and my eyes were bloodshot from crying. I put on some red type of blush thing around my eyes as always. (A/N: Like MCR does. Idk what it's called thoe!) I slipped on my septum and slung my bag over my shoulder. I made sure my blue blazer covered my cuts. "Hi Hel." Robin chirped. "Hey Robin, see you later." "Don't you want breakfast?!" "Nah I'll eat lunch!" I walked to school and opened my locker. "Ew." I hear. Chloe.... My locker neighbor. She's a 'popular' girl. I roll my eyes and walk to first period.

You see, I get bullied. I am just a quiet girl that stays in the back row and draws in her notebook. I love art. It is my passion. Along with music. And I get shit for being to annoying or whatever. I am a really skinny girl that's not so tall and I'm not pretty. I've never had a guy ever look at me in a way that said he liked me. Well....except one. He's in my first period and third. He never talks. He has dark black hair that's probably to his jawline. He is very quiet and never gets called on. I don't even know his name. He is really cute though. I've never got the guts to approach him because I think he will give me shit.

But I always feel his eyes. Staring at me in wonder. He seems to be always pondering about something as his hazel eyes watch me. And whenever I look up, he snaps his head down quickly and doodles. I enter first period and there he is. A row away from me. His head is hung low into his notebook and he's hovered over it. His pen is moving quickly and his tongue is sticking out a bit. I just throw my bag down and blend in as I draw. Hoping and wishing the pain to leave. Lunchtime came and I sat at my usual spot, the steps. I was always the only one there. Until four guys come and sit about three feet away from me. They're laughing and having a fun time.

One of them is the guy. With the long black hair that watches me. One guy next to him with black short hair a lip ring, and a nose ring, and a beanie pulls out a blue thermos and drinks some kind of liquid out of it. When a jock throws his sandwich as him which lands on his knee. He picks it up, looks at it and then his friends. The one that watches me shakes his head giving him a sympathetic look. The tall lanky skinny one with straight light brown hair and white glasses pats the other one on the back. Once again I feel his eyes.

Gerard's POV

I slowly turn my head to watch this marvelous girl. I don't even know her name or who she is but I have fallen for her. She has green hair with bangs, pale skin that make her piercing green eyes pop out, she has a septum ring, and always is wearing her blazer even though it could be 90 degrees! She was the most beautifulest girl in the entire universe. She would always sit in the back and doodle. God this girl is just so beautiful and cute. And she always seemed to have dark circle/bags under her eyes. She also wore dark eyeliner and eye shadow and red type blush that circled her eyes like we would wear. I had gotten nudged. I turned. Frank was smirking with everyone else.

"Go talk to her. I know you like her! I see the way you look at her." Frank says as the others agree. I mean, we were happy but we had no friends. Just each other. We weren't bullied, but no one particularly liked us. I turned red and stood up. I walked over to were she was eating a sandwich. I sat down cross-legged in front of her and smiled. "Hi." I said making her jump. I laughed. She looked very surprised. Her eyes were open widely and she gaped at me. And she was really red. She was much more beautiful in person. "I'm Gerard. Gerard Way." I said extending my hand out for her to shake. She smiled wearily and said, "Helena, Helena Ivy." She said extending her hand.

I noticed red cuts. Aw man she cuts! It's sad to see people like this. Especially someone you kinda care about. I kissed the top of her hand and she blushed. "That's an awfully beautiful name like yourself Helena." She blushed even more and I chuckled. "Helena, I know we just met but can I ask why you uh, cut?" Her lip quivered and tears welled up in her green eyes causing them to be glossy. "Are you okay?" I asked her. "No Gerard, No I'm really not okay." She whispered and I pulled her into a hug. She cried into me and I said, "You can tell me when you're ready. Would you like to join my friends and I to lunch? Like everyday?! I would really like to be your friend."

I said nervously stuttering a bit. "Uh, okay!" She said. "Great!!" I grab her hand and she takes her lunch and I drag her to the guys. "Hey guys this is Helena Ivy. Helena that's Frank, Ray, and Mikey, my little brother." They greet her and she sits next to me. We spend the rest of the lunch learning about Helena. She has no friends, (well now she does.) she gets bullied and her parents died at the age of 11. Now she has a guardian named Robin. She has a passion for art and music and makes her own comic books. JUST LIKE ME!!!!!!! The more she opened up, the more I fell in love with her.

The bell rang and we all got up. I stayed behind with Helena as the guys went to class. I walked with her to her class and said, "It was uh nice having lunch with you Helena." She blushed and said, "Same." We stood for a minute before the warning bell rang. "Goodbye Gerard." She reached up onto her tip toes and kissed me softly on the nose before walking into class leaving me grinning like an idiot and crimson.