A Quiet Night | An All for the Game Fanfiction

Chapter 4

This time, Neil feels completely upside down. He can't find his footing, and everyone can tell. He's not sure what kind of vibe he's giving off, but it obviously screams misery. The doctors on shift double and triple check that he's ok to do something or even ok to be working. Peggy assigns him to minors almost every shift, and while he understands why and appreciates the relative monotony, it's almost not enough to keep his mind from spiraling or shutting down completely.

Katelyn keeps staring at him, looking like she wants to say something but ultimately keeping her mouth shut. Neil wonders if Andrew told Aaron who he is. If Aaron told Katelyn. If that's why she keeps watching him. He has to bite his tongue to keep from asking - about that and about Andrew.

And Andrew. God, every other thought is about him. He made the news. "Exy player sexually assaulted in locker rooms" makes a good headline. "Brother not charged with murder after court ruled justifiable homicide" is even better. The Exy world is in an uproar for weeks about security not doing their jobs and how the league could let this happen to one of their star players - and a prospective Olympian at that.

Andrew isn't seen in public for a month. The Sharks feel the loss, slipping in the league ranks after a few hard games. Kevin, ever the face of the team, fields questions about Andrew's return in almost every post-game interview.

Neil is desperate for something - anything - about how he's doing. He knows from Peggy that he was never admitted. They released him just an hour or so after Neil left with strict instructions to rest and come back if any of his concussion symptoms reappeared or got any worse. And his agent put out an official statement just after the news broke that he was doing well and taking a short break from the season to heal fully.

But besides that, he's got nothing. He almost asks Katelyn, but it feels weird. Too personal. And that's the problem. He got too close. He got attached. This is why Neil doesn't get attached to patients. This is why he doesn't get attached to people. It's too much.

And he can't help wondering if Andrew thinks about him. If Andrew was as affected by Neil as Neil was by Andrew. Probably not. And he wouldn't ever know. He doesn't have a way to contact him, isn't sure if that's even allowed to. And Andrew certainly hadn't contacted him. Why would he?

When it's announced that Andrew's returning to the court, Neil scrambles to check his schedule. The week of Andrew's first game is the week he works day shifts, and Neil books it home to watch the game live, drinking up every moment of Andrew on camera

He looks how he always does. And in his gear, Neil can't see any of his injuries. Of course, a lot of the injuries from that night are mental. And Andrew's face is as impassive as ever. Still, Neil doesn't take his eyes off the screen. He only takes breaks to get snacks when Andrew is on the bench or during breaks. And once it's over, Neil feels fuzzy, like the world around him isn't real.

He repeats the routine the next game, too. And every game after that he can catch before or after shifts. With Andrew back, the Sharks claw their way back to the top. And as the playoffs start, Neil is consumed. He knows it's insane, that he's obsessing and needs to take a break, needs to do something besides isolate in his apartment and binge any and everything Exy. But he can't. What else would he even do?

He rationalizes it away. This is him coping. It's been his coping mechanism for seven years - more than seven years. This isn't as bad as it was when he was first put in Witness Protection. Not even close.

And then, halfway through July, he gets a call from Brian. These calls don't terrify him the way they used to, but it's still off putting when they come in unannounced. He's eating takeout and watching a replay of a recent game when his phone vibrates on the arm of the couch next to him.