Could Have

Chapter 8: Quicksand

December 17th, 2007

Winter had come fast and it felt like it snowed every other day.
The school had taken on a cozy hum of excitement as the lead up to winter break was around the corner.

I stood with my head in my locker staring down at homework I had forgotten to finish. I felt arms wrap around me and pull me in tight. I slammed my book closed and turned around to come face to face with Ty.

"You study too hard," he teased, raising his pierced eyebrow at me...

 Ty, Lyle and their buddies had crashed the Halloween dance. He had snuck in vodka and had been drinking with Lyle in the boys bathroom when the principal busted him and threw him out of the dance. On his way out he grabbed a sharpie off of the raffle table that Callie and I were stationed at. Ty had grabbed my arm and written his number sloppily across it. As the principal pressed him to leave he winked at me and threw the pen in my lap before disappearing out the gym foyer doors.

After texting for awhile I learned that I had been on his radar for awhile... I had just been too distracted to notice anyone else the year before.

Ty was an excellent distraction.

We had nothing in common except, it seemed, being a physical crutch - I wasn't complaining...

"Skip last block with us," Ty let go of my waist and leaned against the locker next to mine.

"I can't, I have to take lunch to do this homework and I have a test I actually studied for," I really did want to skip and give my brain a break. However, Ty was such an asshole around his friends I preferred to stay at school.

"Suit yourself," Ty kissed my cheek and took off down the hallway to catch up with Lyle and his buddies, "See ya later, babe!" He hollered back down the hallway at me.

"Ya, babe!" Mocked Lyle from the end of the hallway. They all laughed and disappeared around the corner.

I cringed at being called 'babe' : it didn't sound right. It felt forced and like Ty was always putting on a show for his friends and basically anyone who was watching.

I grabbed my brown bag lunch and headed to the library.

Callie was sitting at a computer finishing up her own work. She didn't care for Ty but Lyle often tried flirting with her and I could tell she loved it. So, having Ty around wasn't that bad.

"No Ty?" Callie looked up from her computer to greet me.

"He's skipping, as usual," I shrugged and sat down next to her at the computer.

"How responsible of him," she pursed her lips.

"Well, he can do what he wants," I opened up an unfinished document and began to copy down the rest of my essay due next period.

"Good, because..."Callie stopped typing, dropped her voice low and turned to me, " I wanted to know if you'd seen his nxpage recently?"

"Ty's?" I shrugged and continued to type.

"No," Callie leaned into me shaking her head. I looked at her face and it clicked.

"Kalen?" I stopped typing, "You know I blocked him on Nx."

I didn't want to see him after our message exchange on Msnger. I couldn't stand to look at him.
I put myself through a detox.
I couldn't move on if I was constantly being reminded of how wrecked I was over him.
Out of sight out of mind.

"Yes, Kalen! Last night he changed his relationship status and uploaded a picture of him and his new girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" I choked on the word.

"Yeah, his new girlfriend," Callie began typing in Nxpage's URL in the internet browser.

"They have those sites locked out," I watched her attempting to open Nxpage.

"Yeah, but not if you're a teacher," Callie typed a password into an access pop up, "being a TA has its perks sometimes."

"I'm impressed," I said as she smirked triumphantly: The Nxpage site opened up.

I watched as she typed K-A-L-E-N, B-L-Y-T-H-E into the search bar on Nxpage. Callie clicked on his photo and opened his profile page. Sure enough, there was his relationship status changed to: in a relationship.

My heart dropped.

"It looks like she's going to college in town," Callie clicked on her name, Melanie Danielson. Her profile page filled the screen.
I hated to admit it but she was pretty: long dark hair, brown eyes, huge eyelashes, older and going to college here - Here?!

He was able to date a girl who lived here even though he was 2 and a half hours away.
What made her so special?
He couldn't continue to date me when he moved, so why her?
I felt a hurricane of emotions well inside of me.