Chapter 9: Someone Else

3 0 0
                                    


January 1st, 2008

New Years had given me the perfect excuse to go to my very first house party.
Ty, Lyle, Callie and I went together and crashed a friend's New years eve bash. I definitely drank more than I should have and spent a good part of the night making mistakes.

The built up stress and sadness that I had been pushing down from the start of the school year made its headway.

I smoked my first cigarette... well, my first couple.
I passed quite a few bases with Ty, but I hadn't bee ready to hit a home run.

I was so used to being focused on school and lining up my goals for the next 5 years that I hadn't considered what I was missing out on by being so "good". 

New years changed all of that.

I wanted to feel something, anything, other than the crushing weight of a broken heart that never seemed to heal.
Ty's hands and mouth helped me to forget. The rush of having someone want me as bad as Ty did made the gaping void of existence tolerable.
But no matter how much I wanted to really fall for Ty, he just felt like a quick dopamine fix that resulted in me feeling more depressed.

I felt a metamorphosis on New Years eve, a stinging sensation that forced me into uncomfortable growth. A train on a track going full speed and I couldn't seem to slow down.



Could HaveWhere stories live. Discover now