BEWARE C.G.

49. Crazy

Somehow, over the past few minutes Bella and Carl had begun arguing. Flower petals now scattered across the floor, seeing as he grabbed them from the girl's hands and tried to throw them in the trash. Perhaps it was his broken heart that was now shattered into pieces making him act out, perhaps he is just tired of waiting around. He wants love, craves someone waiting for him patiently to arrive home every night. It is a beautiful thing-when someone finds their person and no amount of time together will never be enough. It's how he feels about Bella. But right now their love doesn't feel so beautiful. It feels ugly-shameful even as they scream at each other across the kitchen. This is the very thing he fears for their relationship, that one day they'll end up like Frank and Monica, unable to be in the same room for more than a few minutes without arguing. Carl is so unexplainably hurt and Bella knows more than anyone the only way he can express that is through anger.

"Are you seriously throwing a fucking fit because I said no?" Bella mocks, ignoring how every word is a punch to the gut. "Don't be one of those guys Carl"

"Oh my god it's not about that! This shit is fun to you! Can't you see how hard I've been trying?!" He shot back, it feels like his heart is on his sleeve. Ever since he got back from school he's done just about everything she's asked of him. It's getting to be pathetic honestly, he's not sure what more he can do without pissing her off. "At this point you just want the fucking attention, what more can I do?"

She laughs, covering her mouth because believe it or not, she's trying to let him down easy. But come on. It all sounds so vapid, the idea of 'oh I was nice and made you dinner so now you have to be my girlfriend'. "You did the bare fucking minimum! Clean my house all you want, make dinner, wash my stupid clothes. I don't give a damn. What I want is to be able to trust you"

He wants to rip his hair out. He loves her so very much, but she drives him insane. He has been there when no one else was-is the only one to wipe awake her tears. "I've been in your life since we were six years old, THE ONLY ONE whose been here through all the bullshit and you still don't fucking trust me?! I know all your secrets and I never told anyone"

The girl narrows her eyes, thinking about the last secret she told him. It was her most precious one. She had kept it in for so long and to tell Carl was a weight lifted off her shoulders. And she can't help but feel like Carl is using that vulnerability to make a point. "I'm not dating anyone unless I know it would work" She crossed her arms. "I wanna be with someone I'll never have to second guess"

It is his fault that so much trust has been lost. And she's so out of his league-she does deserve someone that would pick her the first time. Someone whose love she will never have to question. "I fucking love you! Okay?! I adore you! Is that not enough? Are you gonna punish me forever?!" Carl groaned.

Falling silent, she finds it hard to think of something to say. It is unfair, to forgive him and continue to be around him all the while she throws his mistakes in his face. If that was the case she should just stay far away rather than make him think he has a chance. He does, somewhere deep in her heart there is nothing more in the world that she wants more than to be with Carl. But not even Bella knows what he'd have to do to make her snap out of it. For now she is stubborn and is doing that girl who sat in a jail cell-so miserable and lost a great favor. She will not disappoint that girl who cried herself to sleep every night all because of Carl. "You're still talking to other girls though"

He scoffed. "Who?"

Shaking her head, she refuses to answer because then it will all be so real. They're both going to sleep tonight with heavy hearts-it's the only thing Bella is certain of. And worst of all, now she just feels insecure, as every single girl who isn't her flashes through her brain. "I'm just not enough for you. It's fine. I get it"