Me, My Ballet Shoes And You [BoyxBoy]

#CHAPTER 30

"Do you still have the disorder?" He shrugged and said "I haven't stalked anyone since you but I don't know." I nodded and kissed him on the cheek. We stayed there for a while, my head landing on his chest. "The principal also said that you" I stopped and looked at him in the eyes and them bent my head down. "That you wouldn't rush things. She asked me why did I start having the attacks again." He got up and looked at me. "If it makes you feel better, I won't rush things Scotty. And why did you have the attacks? It's obvious it's about sex." I sighed. I didn't want to tell him but I had to. "I... I'm scared of what might or might not happen. But I'm more scared now that-" I stopped. I didn't want to tell him I thought I was ready. I just stayed there my head bent down. "Now that?" I took a deep breath and said "now that I think I... I'm ready." I practically whispered hoping he wouldn't hear but he did. He didn't move a bit. I didn't know what to say. He looked shocked and many other emotions. He finally said "the day you will lose your virginity I can assure you it will be special and I will be as gentle as possible." I felt my cheeks redden and he planted a kiss on my forehead. "When did you lose yours?" I spat out. He had a huge grin on his face and said "fourteen." I had my mouth wide open. He must be crazy. It is really young. Oh my gosh I'm shocked. I closed my mouth when I noticed he was blushing and had his head down fiddling with his fingers. I went on his laps and kissed him. "I love you Harry." I said. "I love you too Scotty."

The days past and we were soon going to be in school summer holidays. Harry was finished with the art school and was going to go in another school. It was going to be the start of his professional life but the end of our relationship. A long distance relationship wasn't what I was aiming for. I didn't think it would work. Plus I hadn't lost my virginity yet. Lila was still with Liam. It was the weekend and I had asked Harry to come over.

"Hey." I said, a smile on my face. "Hey." We went upstairs in my bedroom. I didn't want to tell him I didn't think the long distance would work. I didn't want to tell him that wouldn't have had the chance to lose my virginity to him. "Scotty, I really don't want to lose you. If I buy an apartment not far from hear and not far from over there then maybe, and that's if you want of course, you could come and live with me?" I didn't know what to answer. I did want to live with him but I didn't want to leave my family. "I... I'll th..think about it." He came up to me and kissed me. I melted in his arms. He would always make me feel numb. I kissed him back and ended up in my bed. He started kissing my neck then my shoulders. I couldn't stop him. I didn't want to stop him. He put his hands in my sweatshirt but I stopped him from taking it off and got up. I still had scars and didn't like showing them. I wear long sleeves just because I have some on my wrists too. "I'm sorry Scotty. I just thought that, cause the other day you said, never mind I'm sorry Scotty." He looked embarrassed. "It's not you Harry. I... I don't like my scars. They look horrible. I'm sorry." He looked at me and lifted my sweatshirt up a bit to see the scars. He touched them and it gave me shivers. "They make you more beautiful." I smiled. He planted a few kisses on my chest before asking me "so, want to live with me?" I couldn't. I really don't think I'm ready. "Em... I'm really sorry Harry but I can't. I... I don't think I am ready. And what about my mum and dad? I'm so sorry." He looked sad and disappointed. I felt bad I didn't accept. "We could have sleepovers?" He laughed and nodded. "I could still give you a key right?" I nodded and kissed him. "When are you going to look for one?" I asked. "Maybe tomorrow. Want to come?" I nodded and planted my head on his chest.

The next day we had looked for an apartment and we found one. It was huge. We moved his stuff into his new apartment. It has now been two weeks since that day and Harry had invited me over. He said he was making me dinner. I'm actually looking forward to tonight. I asked him what should I wear but he said whatever I have. I decided to make it special and wear a tuxedo. I put on a black and red tuxedo. My mother had finally bought me a car so I could drive there on my own. I was a bit stressed. I had been in his apartment but never on a date. I do hope I didn't overdo it with the tux. I knocked at the door and he opened it. He was wearing a tux too so I was glad I wasn't the only one. I had a huge smile on my face. He let me in. My eyes went past the living room to the kitchen where there was a table with two plates. There was a candle in the middle. It looked really romantic but I liked it. "I hope you like what I made because I don't know how to make a lot of stuff." He said. I laughed.