He Ain't You

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CHANCEZ

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CHANCEZ

Imagine this. You are a little boy who worships the ground that your father walks on and he calls you out onto the front porch of your home to say good-bye to you. Your father is apparently going on one of his numerous business trips and you assume just like all the other times, he will return within a couple of days or so. He kisses your forehead and ruffles your hair before walking down the steps and climbing into a huge black limousine. As you turn to go back into the house, you hear an earth shattering noise right before you are literally thrust forward. Darkness consumes you. It's too quiet. It's too noisy. You can't move. You can't see. You can't hear. You hear to much. Your emotions are all over the place and yet, you feel empty. When you do finally become aware of your surroundings, you are lying in your bedroom looking up at the ceiling. Your head hurts and your body aches all over. And, then suddenly, it hits you.

You spring from the bed and run out of your bedroom into the hallway of your home. You peer over the balcony and everything is still TOO quiet. Every step you take down the staircase feels like an eternity and then you hear the whispers. Your father's right hand man and a few of his soldiers are whispering. They don't hear you as you enter the room. And, then suddenly the entire room becomes silent again. Right hand man walks over to you and kneels down. He stares into your eyes. You stare into his and at that moment without a shadow of a doubt, you know. It has happened again. And, this time your world will NEVER be the same.

As I stared down at my semi-unconscious father, I felt a sense of empowerment. Hitting him felt SO good. If I could just punch him for every day that I was without his guidance, his support and his love; I would be one happy man. But, I couldn't do that. So, I did the one thing that I could...I looked up at her and smiled again. Marisol stared at me with a bewildered look in her eyes.

"Chancez...are you okay," she asked, breaking the silence.

I could hear my heart beating as I stared at her.

"Are you...okay," I asked.

"Yes, I'm okay. Are you okay," Marisol stepped towards me and I didn't move or flinch. Deray stood beside me looking down at my dazed father, as Marisol lightly touched my face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, Mom. Are you okay," I answered, as Deray shot a look at me and then at my even more surprised mother. "Huh? Are you okay, Mom?"

"I'm...okay," she answered, as she slowly rubbed my face. I stared at her, as she slowly outlined my face with her fingers. "Is your heart okay?"

"My heart is...fine," I answered, as I finally looked back down at my father. "Ray, help him up and into the house," I instructed Deray, before walking past my mother into my house. I stopped midway in and looked back. "Ma, you coming?"

"Ye---yes, I'm coming," Marisol answered, as she looked down at my father and then followed behind me into the living room. "Chancez," she called out to me. I turned to look at her. "Does this mean we are okay? I mean, you haven't called me MOM or MA since I saw you in Florida."

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