I just don't know // JJ Maybank

part 20: WTF

I try to walk past my brother but he grabs my arm and pulls me back, "Did you sleep with him?" I shrug his hand off of me and sigh.

"What if I did? What could you even do?" He looks down at the ground and then looks back at me with a look of anger.

"because if you did I would go back to his house and I would shoot him in the head, that goes for everyone who you sleep with Bea."

I look over at JJ whose breathing heavy and all of my sense goes out the window. I answer my brother without realizing he's the one I'm talking to.

"yeah, I slept with him. but he's not the only one." I catch my breath and look at my brother, thinking about what I just said.

"what the fuck did you just say. one gross, two who else did you sleep with?" I look at everyone and then look at my brother.

"don't worry about it." I walk into the house quickly and I hear someone follow me into my room but I don't turn around until the door shuts.

John b I already told you do-" I look at JJ whose standing in front of me, and it looks like he's been crying. "what the fuck do you want JJ?"

"you slept with rafe? I know that I fucked up but come on him?" I walk over and slap him across the face. he puts his hand over his cheek and sighs.

I move over to my dresser to get some new clothes. "you don't get to cheat on me and then act like my dad." he walks over to me again and turns me around.

"I didn't cheat on you, well, I did but you don't understand." I get out of his grip and sit on the bed. he follows me and sits next to me.

"let me explain myself, please. and if you still hate me after I will tell John b myself because he thinks it was Pope who got mad."

he tries to hold my hand but I pull it away before he can. "fine, you get two minutes to explain yourself. go" he stands up and runs his hands through his hair.

"look I woke up in the middle of the night and I went to grab you but you weren't there. you always leave the bathroom door shut so I didnt think to look there."

he stops to catch his breath and then keeps going, "I walked out into the kitchen and I saw kie, who I thought was you by the way, and I went and I just kissed her."

'was I wrong, did I sleep with rafe fro no reason.' these thoughts wont stop running through my head. "are you lying to me, to cover up."

he walks over and I let him put his hands on my face. "no, I would never fucking hurt you Bea." I grab his hands and I move them down.

I hug him and then pull away crying a little, "I'm sorry I got so mad and then slept with rafe I just needed someone to go to and I didn't want to be here."

There's a knock on the door and then Pope pokes his head in, "Hey John b told me to ask you If he can come and talk to you?"

I look over at JJ and nod, "Yeah he can come in." JJ and Pope leave and then John b walks into the room and shuts the door behind him.

"Bea, I need to know if you slept with Rafe. I'm sorry if I made you angry, but tell me now." I sigh, I knew he was going to bring it up.

"Um, yeah I did, but don't go and hurt him again. It was my idea." He runs his hand down his face and then sits on my bed.

"Why, I mean you never snuck out before and then the one night pope and kie get into a fight, you leave." I couldn't bring myself to tell him about me and JJ.

"I just felt like I needed to go see someone that night, I didn't necessarily sneak out though, Pope knew." He stands and hugs me.

"Ok, I dont want to know anything else. just know that I'm sorry and if you do end up dating Rafe I will hate him forever." He starts to walk to the door but stops.

"Also, I can tell that your into Pope." "What, no I'm not." He shuts back the door and leans against the wall. "I see the way you look at each other."

"That's because were friends." "Sure Bea, let me find out you and my friend have been macking and Rafe wont be the only one I'll shoot."

He walks out of the door and Pope comes in a little after him. "Hey can I ask you something?" I already know where this is going.

"Sure." He walks up to me and kisses me. That's not what I thought would happen. "Um, sorry what." "Sorry I just had to get back at JJ for kissing my girl."

"Right ok, well just to be clear you don't like me right." Pope laughs and I feel upset. "No, I wouldn't betray JJ or John b like that."

We both walk out and sit with the rest of the pouges on the porch. JJ sits by me and sneaks his hand on my thigh. I look around and make sure no one's looking.

Thankfully no one is looking at us so I put my hand on top of his. I feel him lean over me to grab a beer that was on the table and then whisper to me as he moves back.

"Pope is giving me the death stare right now." I chuckle and then I look at Pope. I whisper back to him. "Just so you know, Pope kissed me."