I just don't know // Outerbanks Fanfic

Rekindled

Its been three weeks since the whole hospital incident, John b went through with putting me on birth control but I didn't end up taking the pills.

I haven't talked to Rafe since it happened but he's tried calling me to apologize.

Its a Friday night and I'm getting ready for a party, John b already told me no but Im done listening.

There's a knock on my door and I get a little nervous that its my brother but its not.

"Hey, what are you doing your makeup for?" JJ says and I turn back to the Mirror to keep applying my mascara.

"You know toppers party tonight, I'm going." I look at JJ through the mirror and JJ shakes his head.

"No, what the fuck? Your not going to that party." He goes to open my door.

"What are you doing?" I roll my eyes and he looks me in the eye. "I'm getting John b."

"No the fuck your not. JJ I need to feel normal again." I get up and go to the door and push it shut.

"This is not the way to do that Beatrice." I've never heard him use my full name.

"What did you just call me? You never do that." He looks at me and then sighs.

I know what he's doing, ever since what happend he's been pushing me further away.

"JJ look at me please." JJ looks me in the eye and I see it. He hates me.

"Sit down. We need to talk. Now." We sit on the bed and I cross my legs.

"what are you doing, I mean we used to be so close but now its like your avoiding me and telling on me to my brother."

"you never used to do that shit but you all the sudden what? hate me?" I sigh and he grabs my hand.

"I don't hate you, I just don't want you to make any bad decisions. and I'm not avoiding you for the reasons you think."

he looks away and I grab his face and turn it.

"then let me in, tell me what I did. please." I let a tear escape and he wipes it with his free hand.

"everytime I look at you all I can think of is how I want you to have never lost that baby. our baby."

"but you did and I'm not blaming you for it but I keep thinking if life would be better if you still had that baby with us."

he also cries silently and I hug him. hard.

"oh baby. I cant stop thinking about it either." we lock eyes and he grabs my face and kisses me.

we kiss for a minute but the door opens and Sarah walks in. she locks eyes with me and slams the door shut. "sorry!!" she yells through the door and me and JJ break our heated kiss and he opens the door.

Sarahs looking at him and she laughs. "John bs not here don't worry. what's going on in here though?"

JJ coughs a little and shakes his head. "nothing, wheres John b?" Sarah sighs.

"he's out doing some grunt work for my dad. he wont be back until tommorow. speaking of my dad I should go home." she backs up slowly until she hits the wall and she turns and leaves.

JJ shuts the door and walks over to me. "I don't want to say anything to make you upset or mad at me."

I grab him by his shorts and pull him down, "then don't say anything at all JJ, give me this tonight and then we can go back to whatever we are tommorow."

he heitates and shakes his head. "are you sure, if I kiss you I don't think I'll be able to stop."

"then never stop kissing me."

we end up hooking up then, we did use protection. promise.

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the next morning I wake up with JJ wrapped around me.

"shit JJ wake up!" he stirs awake and looks at me.

"whats up cupcake, ready for round three now?" he sits up on his elbows and I push him a little.

I didn't realize he was on the edge of the bed and he falls off.

"ah shit sorry no my-" the front door opens.

"please tell me that's Sarah."

we hear laughing and one is a light higher pitched laugh and we relax.

but the second laugh comes through and we know were completely and utterly fucked now.

"jump out the window. get your clothes first." JJ grabs his discared clothes and throws his boxers on.

"see you in a minute." JJ goes out the window and I put my clothes on too.

"shh" just as I'm done getting dressed my brother comes in.

"good morning sis, what the fuck!?!" he snaps and I don't know why.