Hope is a dangerous thing for a Woman like me to have

Chapter 36

My first Italien grand prix in f1. 

I thought I had been prepared for the Tifosi, but I was proven wrong; their support was almost cult like - I had seen Ferrari priests and people with tattoos of ferrari all over their body in the span of a walk through the garriage. I had arrived with Lando, as as we were staying in the same hotel (like usual as Mclaren always booked it for us), we had chosen to get a ride in together for practicality. 

"Jesus Christ." I laughed quietly so only Lando could hear when a woman with a top that said "Sign my tits" with the ferrari logan under it walked past. 

"Just you wait til the race. If you were planning on taking your hatred for Leclerc out on any track - don't let it be this one. I made the mistake of stealing a podium off Carlos last year and I almost didn't make it out the grounds alive." Lando murmed with a chuckle. 

It was foreign to me now, my hatred for Charles, and it felt weird to keep acting like I still did around others, especially Lando, who I was so close with

"Hate is a strong word..." I tried. 

"Be for real Edom," Lando laughed. 

"I am for real Lando!" I laughed back. "Look, we started off on the wrong foot, but this is my rookie season - I don't want any bad blood just yet. He's starting to grow on me." 

Lando rolled his eyes in disbelievement. We entered the Mclaren garage and were pulled into seperate rooms for our PR sessions. We had these to prep, and only did them seperately if some private drama was happening to one of us. 

"Ok." Lottie let out a sigh, sitting down opposite me. "I'll get this one out the way."

My nerves spiked. Was I about to be fired?!

"There's a picture of you and a fan.... and Charles that's circulating the internet at a fast pace right now. It seems you too spent some time together after the last race?" It was more of a question than a statement. 

My nerves lessened, but not by much. 

"Yeah, turns out he was staying in the same hotel as us. We bumped into each other in the lobby and we decided to go on a run with each other." I was impressed by my quick lie. 

Charlotte slid her Ipad towards me, showing me the picture in question. Despite being slightly red, I didn't look too dead from the run, and my wide smile hid the pain it had caused me. 

Charles on the other hand wasn't smiling, but was tight-lipped. He still looked gorgeous in his Charles Leclerc way, and if I didn't know better, it would've looked like the picture was taken before he got the chance to give his golden grin. 

"I thought you guys hated each other, so i'm glad you're trying to amend that Edom. However, unfortunately the press will have a field day with this, so when you get questions I want you to only say you're just friends."

"That's what we are..." I raised an eyebrow at Lottie. 

"Ok, but just say nothing else. Anything else can be taken out of context and twisted."

"Ok thanks Lottie."

We finished our small meeting off with some debriefing about other happenings in the grid and what not to say, but my mind was on Charles the whole time. As soon as I was dismissed, I quickly made my way over to the Ferrari garage to see if Charles had had a smiliar meeting. A ferrari team member told me him and Carlos were chatting in his driver suit. 

As I went to knock on the door, I heard my name, making my hand pause. 

"So... that picture of you and Edom?" Carlos said. "Are you guys friends now?" Even Carlos had seen the picture, but I hadn't?! "Or are you more than friends?!" he suddenly gasped. 

"God, no." Charles shut him down very quickly. Well done Charles, I was glad he was keeping us a secret, although that seemed a little enthusiastic. 

"No no no." He continued. I stood, holding my breath outside the door, frozen. "I still hate the girl - she's so loud and annoying. My PR manager had noticed how much we weren't getting on and snitched to Fred. They both told me I had to try make friends with her instead to make me look good, or it will make my brand look bad."

I held back a gasp that nearly escaped my mouth. 

"Damn, that's pretty harsh Charles." Carlos replied with a chuckle. "You're doing a good job of acting I guess, she looks pretty happy to be there." 

"I know." I didn't need to see him to tell Charles was rolling his eyes. "I've told her we're friends, but I think she's actually starting to like me for more. God, what an idiot." I heard him laugh cruelly. 

"Do you not like her at all?!" questioned Carlos. "She seems lovely whenever I've spoken to her, and she's a fan favourite." 

"Exactly why it will be good to be seen on close terms with her." Charles replied. "Maybe I'll even be able to get some Mclaren secrets out of her. Not that we'd want them, considering their car is shit." 

I'd heard enough. I walked stiffly out the garage, holding back tears. 

I'd been led on this whole time?! I'd let my guard down around him, I had taken a major risk by starting a relationship with him, an even bigger one when I slept with him, and it was all a PR stunt for him. 

It all made sense to me now - he didn't want that picture with me because he didn't want the whole world falling for his act aswell. I got back to the Mclaren garage, not stopping for fans, because unlike Charles, I couldn't fake smiles and love so easily. I sat down in my drivers room and put my head in my hands, trying my hardest not to cry. 

His words had cut deep. I had started to feel so much more for him and I truely thought he had felt the same. I had been excited to see him this weekend, for the rest of our weekends and days together where we would seed this relationship progress and bloom. 

I took in a deep breath. 

You're more than just a girl who was crushed by a boy Hakimi. I told myself mentally. You're an F1 driver who is going to kick his fucking ass so hard this weekend, he wished he'd gotten those "secrets" to your "shit" car.

I picked up my phone and unfollowed him on instagram and removed his number from my phone. I was back to where the season had begun - hating Ferrari's golden boy. 

Lando knocked on my door. 

"Hey, Edom! Are you alright? We need to get to a meeting now."

I took another deep breath, before standing and opening the door, looking Lando in the eye with a smirk. 

"Who was I kidding earlier?" I shook my head with a chuckle. 

"I do still hate Charles Leclerc." 

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Lowkey reputation era??? 

Bit of a twist, but looking forward to where this book is going and I hope you guys are all enjoying so far!

As always, thank you for you're support - I love reading your comments so much xoxo