Hope is a dangerous thing for a Woman like me to have

Chapter 43

The last time I had stayed over at a guy's house was when I was 17 and lost my virginity. We had been dating for a few months when he had invited me over, adding in the detail that his parents would be out. It was obvious to me immediately what that meant. And I had been right. 

Sure, I had really liked the guy, but I had always imagined I'd lose my virginity to someone I really loved in a romantic but slightly spontaneous way. Instead, it was planned a week in advance and we did it in the dark on his sofa. On top of that, he had refused to wear a condom as "it was better without" and although, as promised, he pulled out, I couldn't sleep until my next period came with the fear of potentially being pregnant. For me, especially at that point in my career, children wasn't an option. Getting pregnant wasn't something my reputation could handle and an abortion wasn't something my sponsers would ever associate themselves with. We broke up shortly after as we hardly saw each other because of my racing. 

Now, I was 22 and staying over at a guys house. It was a spontaneous decision and we had just had sex in his bed and he had worn a condom. As I cozied up to Charles in just my socks, I stared into his eyes. The gorgeous green irises stared back into mine, filled with an emotion I was too scared to confirm. Charles had changed so much for me. The way I saw romantic relationships, the way I saw myself and my worth, the standards for how I should be treated - the list could go on. 

"You're beautiful Edom Hakimi" He smiled and I felt myself blush, tearing away my gaze in embarrassment. 

"Oh, shut up." I giggled nervously. 

"Oh, shut up," he mimicked my accent. "You're so British."

"What? A coloniser?!" I laughed back. "You're so French."

"Woah, take that back." Charles gasped, leaning back from me. "But I suppose if I was I'd also be a coloniser" he chuckled slightly.

"Alright, sorry, you're so monogasque." I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"What does that make me then?" He asked quizzically. 

"A tax evader with a nice car?" I laughed and he flicked my shoulder playfully. "Or a lovely guy, whose going to give me one of his tops to sleep in because he's so lovely." 

Charles got out of bed, pulling on some boxers and the t-shirt I had not-so-gently taken off. "Alright, there's one in Arthur's room you can use, let me just go grab it." He walked out the room, leaving the door open. 

"Charles!" I whisper shouted, wanting only him in the house to hear me. My anxiety kicked in as I realised Arthur would find out about me staying and at the possibility of him - or anyone for that matter - walking past or into the room as I lay here naked. I tried to pull on my underwear sneakily under the covers and as I went to grab my bra, Charles walked back in. 

"Ta-daa!" He tossed a grey top at me with a puma logo on, as jumped out my skin. 

"Charles you left the door wild open!" I covered my face with my hands. 

"Oops, sorry." He chuckled, then gently grabbed my hands and removed them from my face. "There's that gorgeous face that lights up any room it's in." I felt my smile spread across my face. "And there's the smile that could heal any pain I feel." I swatted at his shoulder jokingly. 

"My head is going to inflate so much it's going to explode if you keep this up." I rolled my eyes as I put his shirt on. "Does the flatterer have a spare toothbrush and some face wash?". Charles nodded and we wondered into his bathroom. It wasn't as big a bathroom as I expected Charles to have. 2 metres wide with a long sink and mirror running down the length of the room, and a shower and toilet at the end with a tinted glass wall and door seperating the shower from the rest of the room.