Start again Chapter II

Part 43

Lilian's POV

I found myaelf standing up and walking towards the chair right beside Calvins body in the middle of the night. Calvin is peacefully asleep when i slowly and nervously reach for his hand. While Amanda has fallen to sleep on the sofa while i was supposed to sleep next to her. I let out a breath, looking at Calvins face.

Although it is dark. But, i still can see a bit of him. His lips are a bit parted and his breathing is slow.

Does he not remember anything? About Amanda, himself or me? It kills me to know the person who you loved deeply doesn't even know who you are. I felt a tear making its way on my cheeks, and when i take a deep shaky breath, Calvin started to move a bit, making my hand instantly flew away from his.

"L-lilian?" He's awake.

I smiled forcefully, looking down at my knees first before looking back at him with a warm smile, like nothing has happend.

"Are you alright? Why aren't you asleep?" He asked, resting his masculine hand on mine. And that's when i feel a slight electricity burning all over my hand and up to my arm.

"I'm fine. I-i can't sleep" I smiled a bit, wiping a tear quickly before him knowing i was crying.

"You okay?" He asks again, rubbing his fingers gently and slowly at my hand. I let out a shaky heavy breath and nodded.

"May i ask you something?" He asks. I smiled and nodded, when his hand squeeze my hand and hold it tightly.

"How long have we been dating?" He asks, with a light chuckle at the end.

"For couple of months" I shrug, with a light giggle at the end. And god help me, i could see that smile that caused me to fall for him appears.

"Ha-have we had sex?" He whispers, not wanting Amanda knows about our conversation. I giggle and nodded.

"Really?" He grins, and i nodded again with a warm happy smile now. I shake my head while looking at his face which is filled with excitement.

When the conversation started to stop and it turns into silence, the memories of him and i at the beach appears. When i was standing at the edge of the beach looking how incredible the view is, suddenly he came and threw me over his shoulders and throw me to the water. Surprising me ofcourse. I remember the water was warm and so does he.

He laughs along everytime i tried to sing. When we kiss under the water. When we played, the water splashing it to each other. When we made sand castle but he cheated, how? He kicked my sandcastle. When he suddenly fell asleep and i covered him with sands. And we play tag. When we play with his dog. Oh god.. I miss that.

"Hey, why are you crying?" I look up, realising i was crying the whole time. I let out an anxious giggle and shook my head with a little smile on my face. Calvin takes my hand again and squeezes it re-assuringly. "So-sorry, i was just... uh" i sigh, and look up just after i wipe the remaining tears on my cheeks.

"You alright?" He once again asked. But this time, although the room is dark and i only can see a bit of his face. I know, his eyes are filled with concern, sad, and pure.

"I-i just missed you so much" i whisper, with my voice cracking up at the end. "I'm here... I'm here.." He says, as he pulls me in to his hug. The smell of his familiar scent came directly inside my nose. And god, for the first time since i lost him, i could feel he is really here. Here with me.

"Oh Cav.." I whispers between my silent cries. His hand moves up to my hair and slowly struck his hands on my hair. Playing it softly.

I let go of his hug, knowing he need more rest, so when i turn around, i felt his hand on my wrist. I turn my head, revealing him there with a soft smile and his hand tight on my wrist.